How can we tell if a prisoner is remorseful?

[mrswah]

We often read about prisoners, especially those convicted of murder, "showing remorse" or "not showing remorse".  I remember this often being discussed in relation to Myra Hindley, as her "supporters" said that she was remorseful , and the media and the general public thought she wasn't. 

What, in your opinion, does a convicted prisoner have to do to show that he or she is truly   sorry for crimes committed?

[Eleanor]

How can someone feel remorseful if the didn't actually do it?

[mrswah]

Indeed, that is a big problem, if the person is actually innocent, as I believe they cannot get parole unless they "show remorse".  I was thinking more about those who were guilty. 

[Miss Taken Identity]

Indeed, that is a big problem, if the person is actually innocent, as I believe they cannot get parole unless they "show remorse".  I was thinking more about those who were guilty.

This is  adufficult one, but I would, at least, expect an acceptance of their guilt and and some kind of guesture to relieve the familys suffering in some way.

 For an example regarding Hindley, accepting she took part in,  and did get some kind of kick from the part she played in the torture, slaughter of children and the subsequent torture  for the rest of their families lives.  By accepting she  facilitated a lot of the torture and withheld information about the  where abouts the childrens  little bodies were. By accepting her crimes so heinous that she was deserving of public hatred, added to that her denial of her part and using the law to try and gain freedom was seen as selfish,self serving after forgiving herself and 'finding' God. Her attempt at being remorseful never really came across as being genuine. IMO

[mrswah]

Thank you for your reply, Miss Taken Identity (love the name!)

I agree that one should accept one's guilt.  I don't know what kind of gesture one can make to the victim's family while you are in prison:  a letter perhaps, or a donation to a relevant charity???

As for Myra Hindley, I don't think anyone is ever going to be sure whether she was remorseful or not!

[jixy]

Restorative Justice has its place but it has to be victim lead. Not all about making the offender get it all off his chest and feel better

When it works, it can work very well


http://www.harrogate-news.co.uk/2016/11/25/police-commissioner-meets-victims-benefited-restorative-justice/

[mrswah]

Thank you for your contribution Jixy.

I was a secondary school teacher for over 30 years, and I didn't find that restorative justice worked in that situation, as teenagers are just not mature enough. They say the right things in front of teachers and parents,  and then, behind their backs, go back on their word. I am basically talking about bullying, here.   However, I understand that it can work in some situations----with mature adults, and if it does work, it's great.  Thank you for the link.

Did you ever see a TV programme called "The Gift"?   It was a spin off from "Long Lost Family", but didnt last long!  In it, adults who had been bullies or victims of bullying as youngsters, met each other, and made peace. It was very uplifting.

[jixy]

I didn't see it but sounds interesting. Making peace is good when it happens

[mrswah]

I would agree!

[Eleanor]

Sorry, I can't cope with this.  All too often innocent people are expected to show remorse for something that they did not do.

Besides, where does remorse come into this when someone is serving a sentence.  Why should it be important?

Remorse has nothing to do with what happened.

Either the Justice System works, or it doesn't.

[mrswah]

Eleanor

I was speaking more of guilty people, who have to show remorse before they can be paroled. I was wondering how we can know whether a convicted person is showing remorse, and what they have to do for remorse to be accepted.  Just interested, that's all !!

Of course, nobody can expect an innocent person to show remorse if they hadn't done anything wrong in the first place!

[Eleanor]

Eleanor

I was speaking more of guilty people, who have to show remorse before they can be paroled. I was wondering how we can know whether a convicted person is showing remorse, and what they have to do for remorse to be accepted.  Just interested, that's all !!

Of course, nobody can expect an innocent person to show remorse if they hadn't done anything wrong in the first place!

That was my point.  If a guilty person wishes to show remorse then that is fine by me

Unfortunately it is mortal hard to tell the difference..

[jixy]

Its a strange topic you bring up Mrswah considering Tabak did exactly what you are questioning but yet you don't believe him. Not sure what you expect from the guilty or the innocent.

I know from supporting an innocent friend, people cannot show remorse for something they didn't do even when its expected of them time and time again

Some cases, if people had agreed said they did it showed what was expected of them, they would have done many years less in prison

[mrswah]

Yes, I agree that there are innocent people in prison, who cannot show remorse because they didn't do anything wrong in the first place, and those people cannot get parole because they don't show remorse.

This is very sad, and points to something being very wrong with the system.

My only reason for starting this thread (and I was actually thinking of the guilty more than the innocent) is that convicted people who are guilty sometimes do say they are sorry, but they are not believed.  So, I wondered what someone actually has to do to prove they are sorry.  Miss Taken Identity gave me a good response yesterday!

[Eleanor]

This entire concept completely defeats me.  Why should someone who is guilty be forced to admit remorse when quite possibly they do not feel remorse.  They have been sentenced for their crime, which is what I thought it was all about.  Done the crime.  Do the time.  That is the end of the matter for me.  The last thing I can see sense for is bleeding hearts.

So we now have to address innocent people.  So are you telling me that they should admit remorse for a crime that they did not commit because it might get them off a few years?  While the really guilty person probably doesn't have a problem at all in his own head.

Remorse should actually have nothing to do with this.  It is a morality issue, which has nothing to do with The Law.

No man should be kept in prison for his morals.  Keep him there for other reasons, if you wish.  But lack of remorse isn't one of them in my book.

Oh, by the way, I wrote the book.  It hasn't sold well.  But then I never expected that it would.