Author Topic: Does publicly "doubting" the McCanns add to the distress of the McCann family?  (Read 82723 times)

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Offline Lace

Well, it depends what you call loving and caring, and what you call firm evidence. By my standards that assumption is questionable, but we all have different standards. You see I wouldn't have taken my three children on holiday and spent the bare minimum of time with them. I wouldn't have gone out five nights on the trot and left them alone. I had three children under five and didn't need relatives to come hundreds of miles to help me if I was alone with them at the weekends. As an army wife I was alone with my children for weeks, not weekends. If one of my children had disappeared no-one would have separated me from the others the following day. If my friends came to help I wouldn't have complained that I had to pick my children up from nursery because my friends had gone out searching for my missing child. I wouldn't have asked them to stop searching and come back and look after my children for me. If I took a camera on holiday with me I would have had lots of lovely photos in my camera by the sixth day of my holiday, I wouldn't have had to use a six month old picture to give to the police. You and others may think this is how loving and caring parents behave, but I don't. Different standards.



Madeleine and the twins had been on holiday before they went to Portugal,   they had played on the beach and done all that small children love to do.

Although I haven't used crèche facilities myself I have been away with friends who have.    The children WANTED to go,  they played with other children of the same age and did things that maybe their parents wouldn't have done with them.

As the McCann children had already had a holiday before they went to Portugal  I can't see how letting them have fun in a crèche whilst they had fun learning to play tennis is not 'loving and caring'.    The weather wasn't exactly brilliant and Madeleine enjoyed interacting with other children,   they went to the beach and went on a boat,  would she have gone on a boat if she hadn't been going to the crèche?    I really can't see how the McCann's can be called mean for having a week where they got to have a break too.  Who knows they may have been planning another family holiday for later on in the year.

Yes they left them alone something they shouldn't have done.   They thought they would be safe asleep in their beds,  they checked on them regularly.    That doesn't mean they were not loving and caring,   they believed them to be safe.

As for family coming hundreds of miles at the week-end to help with the children.    How do you know they were asked to do this?    Have you had twins?    Maybe the family WANTED to help out.

You say you wouldn't have been separated from your other children if one of them disappeared.    You really can't say what you would do in those circumstances,  no one could say what they would do.

I would like to think though that I would be thinking how Kate was,   she wanted life to go on as normal for the twins so they went as usual to the crèche.     What would have been better?   Letting them stay among a strained atmosphere with their parents crying,   not knowing why they were crying,  watching confused? Not only their parents crying but their Grandparents,   Kate said it was awful to watch her Dad who suffers from Parkinson disease,  sobbing his heart out,  how do you think  children of two years would cope with that?   The McCann's had to go to the police station anyway so they would hardly have been able to spend a lot of time with them.

Though Kate says this in her book -   Gerry and I saw much less of them than would normally have been the case.  When we did,  we tried to make it up to them by giving them proper quality time with lots of cuddles.

They did have photo's,   the police wanted one that showed a clear picture of Madeleine's face.   There were numerous photo's but they were of Madeleine with other children,  or Madeleine not looking straight at the camera

I would really read all the police files and think hard before you label parents as not being 'loving'.    The McCann's have shown what loving parents are they are parents who will never give up the search for their daughter.











« Last Edit: March 30, 2015, 10:27:43 AM by Lace »

Offline Benice



Madeleine and the twins had been on holiday before they went to Portugal,   they had played on the beach and done all that small children love to do.

Although I haven't used crèche facilities myself I have been away with friends who have.    The children WANTED to go,  they played with other children of the same age and did things that maybe their parents wouldn't have done with them.

As the McCann children had already had a holiday before they went to Portugal  I can't see how letting them have fun in a crèche whilst they had fun learning to play tennis is not 'loving and caring'.    The weather wasn't exactly brilliant and Madeleine enjoyed interacting with other children,   they went to the beach and went on a boat,  would she have gone on a boat if she hadn't been going to the crèche?    I really can't see how the McCann's can be called mean for having a week where they got to have a break too.  Who knows they may have been planning another family holiday for later on in the year.

Yes they left them alone something they shouldn't have done.   They thought they would be safe asleep in their beds,  they checked on them regularly.    That doesn't mean they were not loving and caring,   they believed them to be safe.

As for family coming hundreds of miles at the week-end to help with the children.    How do you know they were asked to do this?    Have you had twins?    Maybe the family WANTED to help out.

You say you wouldn't have been separated from your other children if one of them disappeared.    You really can't say what you would do in those circumstances,  no one could say what they would do.

I would like to think though that I would be thinking how Kate was,   she wanted life to go on as normal for the twins so they went as usual to the crèche.     What would have been better?   Letting them stay among a strained atmosphere with their parents crying,   not knowing why they were crying,  watching confused? Not only their parents crying but their Grandparents,   Kate said it was awful to watch her Dad who suffers from Parkinson disease,  sobbing his heart out,  how do you think  children of two years would cope with that?   The McCann's had to go to the police station anyway so they would hardly have been able to spend a lot of time with them.

Though Kate says this in her book -   Gerry and I saw much less of them than would normally have been the case.  When we did,  we tried to make it up to them by giving them proper quality time with lots of cuddles.

They did have photo's,   the police wanted one that showed a clear picture of Madeleine's face.   There were numerous photo's but they were of Madeleine with other children,  or Madeleine not looking straight at the camera

I would really read all the police files and think hard before you label parents as not being 'loving'.    The McCann's have shown what loving parents are they are parents who will never give up the search for their daughter.

An excellent post Lace.   Says it all IMO.
The notion that innocence prevails over guilt – when there is no evidence to the contrary – is what separates civilization from barbarism.    Unfortunately, there are remains of barbarism among us.    Until very recently, it headed the PJ in Portimão. I hope he was the last one.
                                               Henrique Monteiro, chief editor, Expresso, Portugal

Offline G-Unit

Seems I hit a nerve. I only challenged someone for stating an opinion as a fact. No-one knows as a fact what kind of parents the McCanns were. Not me and not anyone else. I have read the evidence and some of their behaviour raised my doubts. Others have read the evidence and decided their behaviour was fine. Different opinions, but mine is as valid as anyone else's.

The biggest problem for the apologists is the leaving of three small children alone in an unlocked apartment for five nights. It felt safe? Safe from what? Fire? Accident? Abduction? Leaving small children alone is never safe. Never.

I can imagine younger parents taking that risk, but older parents with knowledge gained in their careers of how swiftly accidents can happen? Particularly with children they went to such lengths to have.
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Offline Mr Gray

Seems I hit a nerve. I only challenged someone for stating an opinion as a fact. No-one knows as a fact what kind of parents the McCanns were. Not me and not anyone else. I have read the evidence and some of their behaviour raised my doubts. Others have read the evidence and decided their behaviour was fine. Different opinions, but mine is as valid as anyone else's.

The biggest problem for the apologists is the leaving of three small children alone in an unlocked apartment for five nights. It felt safe? Safe from what? Fire? Accident? Abduction? Leaving small children alone is never safe. Never.

I can imagine younger parents taking that risk, but older parents with knowledge gained in their careers of how swiftly accidents can happen? Particularly with children they went to such lengths to have.

We have statements from people who have spent time with the McCanns..Jim Gamble for one who have said the McCanns are loving parents and he cannot see that they are involved. If you look at parents who have harmed their children you will see without exception they are dysfunctional families involving drugs etc and not two biological parents. In fact the home office statistics class mom's new boyfriend as a parent. As for safety...children have been left like this for 50 years with no real problems...stranger abduction is so rare the mccanns did not consider it

Offline Brietta

Seems I hit a nerve. I only challenged someone for stating an opinion as a fact. No-one knows as a fact what kind of parents the McCanns were. Not me and not anyone else. I have read the evidence and some of their behaviour raised my doubts. Others have read the evidence and decided their behaviour was fine. Different opinions, but mine is as valid as anyone else's.

The biggest problem for the apologists is the leaving of three small children alone in an unlocked apartment for five nights. It felt safe? Safe from what? Fire? Accident? Abduction? Leaving small children alone is never safe. Never.

I can imagine younger parents taking that risk, but older parents with knowledge gained in their careers of how swiftly accidents can happen? Particularly with children they went to such lengths to have.

I think it is entirely feasible that the Drs McCann will live with that regret every single day of their lives whether Madeleine is returned or not.  That is their unwanted inheritance.

Why people take it upon themselves to do their utmost to add to that burden by twittering and facebooking heinous lies and in some instances just plain filth about them and Madeleine on the pretext of "doubting" them is outwith my sphere of understanding.

I am delighted you are an exemplary parent ... me ... I'm still discovering little pearls from the childhood of mine which I knew nothing about at the time and it is interesting.

The puzzlement I have is your need to keep stating the obvious eight years after the event as if the Drs McCann are in some sort of denial when we know they are not and never have been.

"All I'm going to say is that we've conducted a very serious investigation and there's no indication that Madeleine McCann's parents are connected to her disappearance. On the other hand, we have a lot of evidence pointing out that Christian killed her," Wolter told the "Friday at 9"....

Offline Brietta

We have statements from people who have spent time with the McCanns..Jim Gamble for one who have said the McCanns are loving parents and he cannot see that they are involved. If you look at parents who have harmed their children you will see without exception they are dysfunctional families involving drugs etc and not two biological parents. In fact the home office statistics class mom's new boyfriend as a parent. As for safety...children have been left like this for 50 years with no real problems...stranger abduction is so rare the mccanns did not consider it

Had they known about home invasions targeting British children in the surrounding area I doubt if their considerations would have been so relaxed.
Knowledge of the burglaries which had taken place in their apartment block might also have given them pause for thought.
"All I'm going to say is that we've conducted a very serious investigation and there's no indication that Madeleine McCann's parents are connected to her disappearance. On the other hand, we have a lot of evidence pointing out that Christian killed her," Wolter told the "Friday at 9"....

Offline Eleanor


Well, it depends what you call loving and caring, and what you call firm evidence. By my standards that assumption is questionable, but we all have different standards. You see I wouldn't have taken my three children on holiday and spent the bare minimum of time with them. I wouldn't have gone out five nights on the trot and left them alone. I had three children under five and didn't need relatives to come hundreds of miles to help me if I was alone with them at the weekends. As an army wife I was alone with my children for weeks, not weekends. If one of my children had disappeared no-one would have separated me from the others the following day. If my friends came to help I wouldn't have complained that I had to pick my children up from nursery because my friends had gone out searching for my missing child. I wouldn't have asked them to stop searching and come back and look after my children for me. If I took a camera on holiday with me I would have had lots of lovely photos in my camera by the sixth day of my holiday, I wouldn't have had to use a six month old picture to give to the police. You and others may think this is how loving and caring parents behave, but I don't. Different standards.

I was a Naval Wife, and alone for months if not years.  Two years on two occasions.  Which was precisely the reason for leaving my children unattended briefly.  Going next door or across the road for a cup of coffee in the evening was the only social interaction I got.  And sometimes friends would come to me.  But we were all ever aware of the children.  And we took it in turns to check on them.

Offline G-Unit

I think it is entirely feasible that the Drs McCann will live with that regret every single day of their lives whether Madeleine is returned or not.  That is their unwanted inheritance.

Why people take it upon themselves to do their utmost to add to that burden by twittering and facebooking heinous lies and in some instances just plain filth about them and Madeleine on the pretext of "doubting" them is outwith my sphere of understanding.

I am delighted you are an exemplary parent ... me ... I'm still discovering little pearls from the childhood of mine which I knew nothing about at the time and it is interesting.

The puzzlement I have is your need to keep stating the obvious eight years after the event as if the Drs McCann are in some sort of denial when we know they are not and never have been.

I stated the obvious because you stated something which is not obvious to me. There are no perfect parents, all parents make mistakes. Some make mistakes that others are puzzled by because they are such obvious ones. I'm not actually convinced that those children were left in an unlocked apartment, believe it or not.

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Offline carlymichelle

I stated the obvious because you stated something which is not obvious to me. There are no perfect parents, all parents make mistakes. Some make mistakes that others are puzzled by because they are such obvious ones. I'm not actually convinced that those children were left in an unlocked apartment, believe it or not.

the mcann supporters try and justify the mcanns actions on that holiday and you cant  imo

Offline G-Unit

I was a Naval Wife, and alone for months if not years.  Two years on two occasions.  Which was precisely the reason for leaving my children unattended briefly.  Going next door or across the road for a cup of coffee in the evening was the only social interaction I got.  And sometimes friends would come to me.  But we were all ever aware of the children.  And we took it in turns to check on them.

It was a different time though. People are much more aware of danger these days don't you think? The big story when my children were young was the Moors Murders, but it never stopped me letting my children out to play. It seemed almost unbelievable and a one-off to me. Did you lock your doors Eleanor? Did you live on a base or elsewhere? I did it occasionally on a secure base also, but I locked the doors. I never did it if I went out for the evening drinking with my husband. Then a babysitter was used so we could relax and enjoy ourselves. 
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Offline carlymichelle

It was a different time though. People are much more aware of danger these days don't you think? The big story when my children were young was the Moors Murders, but it never stopped me letting my children out to play. It seemed almost unbelievable and a one-off to me. Did you lock your doors Eleanor? Did you live on a base or elsewhere? I did it occasionally on a secure base also, but I locked the doors. I never did it if I went out for the evening drinking with my husband. Then a babysitter was used so we could relax and enjoy ourselves.

didnt the mcanns havea  nanny at home why didn tthey take her and why isnt that nanny in any of the mcanns photos etc on  other holidays?

Offline Carana

Well, it depends what you call loving and caring, and what you call firm evidence. By my standards that assumption is questionable, but we all have different standards. You see I wouldn't have taken my three children on holiday and spent the bare minimum of time with them. I wouldn't have gone out five nights on the trot and left them alone. I had three children under five and didn't need relatives to come hundreds of miles to help me if I was alone with them at the weekends. As an army wife I was alone with my children for weeks, not weekends. If one of my children had disappeared no-one would have separated me from the others the following day. If my friends came to help I wouldn't have complained that I had to pick my children up from nursery because my friends had gone out searching for my missing child. I wouldn't have asked them to stop searching and come back and look after my children for me. If I took a camera on holiday with me I would have had lots of lovely photos in my camera by the sixth day of my holiday, I wouldn't have had to use a six month old picture to give to the police. You and others may think this is how loving and caring parents behave, but I don't. Different standards.

I can imagine that being an army wife isn't always easy, with long, possibly stressful separations, particularly with small children.

However, I think you may have reinterpreted a few details in the light of your own experience...


Offline Eleanor

It was a different time though. People are much more aware of danger these days don't you think? The big story when my children were young was the Moors Murders, but it never stopped me letting my children out to play. It seemed almost unbelievable and a one-off to me. Did you lock your doors Eleanor? Did you live on a base or elsewhere? I did it occasionally on a secure base also, but I locked the doors. I never did it if I went out for the evening drinking with my husband. Then a babysitter was used so we could relax and enjoy ourselves.

I lived on  Caravan Sites.  One gated and one not.  And No, I didn't lock the door.  I admitted to doing this a long time ago, to much abuse from certain quarters and still ongoing.  And the only reasons for why I didn't mention the circumstances are because I wasn't looking for sympathy in my often long term isolation, and because I don't think that the reasons are important.  You do it or you don't.
But none of us just walked out of the door without any care for the safety of the children.

We all got baby sitters if we were going out for the evening.  And I don't suppose for a minute that Kate and Gerry would have left their children unchecked for long periods of time either.

All this screeching about Child Abuse and Child Neglect is getting no one anywhere.

No, I almost certainly wouldn't do it now.  But we have all learned from the tragedy of Madeleine, albeit rare.

Offline Lace

I think it is entirely feasible that the Drs McCann will live with that regret every single day of their lives whether Madeleine is returned or not.  That is their unwanted inheritance.

Why people take it upon themselves to do their utmost to add to that burden by twittering and facebooking heinous lies and in some instances just plain filth about them and Madeleine on the pretext of "doubting" them is outwith my sphere of understanding.

I am delighted you are an exemplary parent ... me ... I'm still discovering little pearls from the childhood of mine which I knew nothing about at the time and it is interesting.

The puzzlement I have is your need to keep stating the obvious eight years after the event as if the Drs McCann are in some sort of denial when we know they are not and never have been.



 8@??)(     8((()*/

Offline Carana

didnt the mcanns havea  nanny at home why didn tthey take her and why isnt that nanny in any of the mcanns photos etc on  other holidays?

Carly, could you occasionally check on your facts? What makes you think that they had a full-time nanny? They weren't royalty or millionaires.