“Barry had previously been convicted for attempted rape and indecent assault some years earlier, and he lived in the vicinity of Dando’s flat. When I ask Michelle about these serious charges, she doesn’t respond defensively or try to protect her brother; instead she explains, gently, that she too was horrified when she discovered the truth – and told her brother so: “I’m afraid he was given quite a tough time from me; he didn’t enjoy that visit one bit,” she says, briskly. “But I think it needs to be understood that Barry is like a nine-year-old boy living in an adult’s body. These things should not happen, and he knows right from wrong, but at the same time, he has a whole host of disabilities
https://www.premierchristianity.com/Past-Issues/2019/April-2019/My-brother-was-wrongly-convicted-of-murdering-Jill-Dando
Barry George was classed sane and fit to stand trial for murder as an ADULT.
There are NO excuses and her comments are disingenuous. BUT nothing.
“
Michelle soon realised that Barry needed her help, so she booked flights to England, leaving her husband and three children behind in Ireland. “I’m so grateful to God that he only gives us a lamp unto our feet,” she explains, thoughtfully, “because if I had seen 18-19 years ahead of me – that I was still going to be in this battle – I don’t think I would have taken that first step.” Michelle tells me that it would have been irresponsible if she hadn’t asked herself the question: “Did he do it?”. But once she spoke to the legal and medical teams, who were convinced of his innocence, and after reviewing the evidence, she was sure Barry couldn’t have committed the crime.https://www.premierchristianity.com/Past-Issues/2019/April-2019/My-brother-was-wrongly-convicted-of-murdering-Jill-Dando“here are 5 reasons we play the blame game.
Blame is an excellent defense mechanism. Whether you call it projection, denial, or displacement, blame helps you preserve your sense of self-esteem by avoiding awareness of your own flaws or failings.
Blame is a tool we use when we’re in attack mode. Falling into the category of a destructive conflict resolution method, blame is a way to try to hurt our partners.
We’re not very good at figuring out the causes of other people's behavior, or even our own. The attributions we make, whether to luck or ability, can be distorted by our tendency to make illogical judgments. And we're just as bad at making judgments involving the blameworthiness of actions in terms of intent vs. outcome. It’s easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibility. There’s less effort involved in recognizing your contributions to a bad situation than in accepting the fact that you're actually at fault, and changing so you don't do it again.
People lie. As my colleague, Robert Feldman, discovered, “Everybody lies.” It’s pretty easy just to lie and blame someone else even though you know you’re at fault. You may figure that no one will know it was really you who spilled coffee all over the break room, so you just blame someone else who’s not there (and hope that person never finds out)
Unlike other games, the more often you play the blame game, the more you lose. Learning to tell when you need to own up to your role in a bad situation will help you grow from your experiences, and ultimately help you achieve more fulfilling relationships.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201509/5-reasons-we-play-the-blame-game