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Well, its nearly here folks. heres a few songs to get us in the mood. For those on the board that dont like christmas, TOUGH! i love it 8((()*/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIUlEUWKloM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoxQ4Ul_DME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A8KT365wlA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gStOeXHSwxQ
Apologies for the last one, Great song, unfortunatley, sung by a Paedophile.
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Well, its nearly here folks. heres a few songs to get us in the mood. For those on the board that dont like christmas, TOUGH! i love it 8((()*/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIUlEUWKloM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoxQ4Ul_DME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A8KT365wlA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gStOeXHSwxQ
Apologies for the last one, Great song, unfortunatley, sung by a Paedophile.
So do I 8((()*/ 8@??)(
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Admin, please delete this thread.
It's like putting the decorations up already, 'n I bloody 'ate christmas ?8)@)-)
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Admin, please delete this thread.
It's like putting the decorations up already, 'n I bloody 'ate christmas ?8)@)-)
Bah, ya miserable sod. Roll yourself a big fat joint and pretend that you do !
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So do I 8((()*/ 8@??)(
Im like a bleeding kid when it comes to Christmas. Love it !
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Bah, ya miserable sod. Roll yourself a big fat joint and pretend that you do !
@)(++(*
I really do bloody ate christmas though.
I'll just have to put you on ignore until January 1st. 8)--))
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This is a classic too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXCEdrnaFlY
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@)(++(*
I really do bloody ate christmas though.
I'll just have to put you on ignore until January 1st. 8)--))
Aww Spammy, what about the family? Are you the grumpy tw.. sat at the dinner table!
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I have to pretend not to hate it all for 24 hours.
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I have to pretend not to hate it all for 24 hours.
Do you remember Whitsuntide, we would all get new clothes and show them off to the neighbours. People dont do Whitsun anymore, was quite big in the 70's when i was a kid.
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Do you remember Whitsuntide, we would all get new clothes and show them off to the neighbours. People dont do Whitsun anymore, was quite big in the 70's when i was a kid.
I'm an 80's child, had never heard of that.
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All children and people with children…love christmas
Classics:-
http://youtu.be/dDFX8KVKRoI
http://youtu.be/WI02_UJ1C6I?list=RDWI02_UJ1C6I
http://youtu.be/rw7P2hCuPME?list=PLBF92F68FD82B0D71
http://youtu.be/bbQv2dVHErs
http://youtu.be/j-omco6KO6w?list=UU8yH-uI81UUtEMDsowQyx1g
http://youtu.be/dhzxQCTCI3E
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I can't wait!!!!
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I can't wait!!!!
I can! I love Christmas as much as anyone, but I hate the cynicism that the retailers display when they have all their old tat out on display by the middle of October and then they're all packed up by Christmas Eve. It's the same old story...it's always the greedy b........s who take the fun out of everything.
I can't listen to any Christmas songs before December.
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Im like a bleeding kid when it comes to Christmas. Love it !
I love the build up and all the decorations and shopping - the day is always a bit of a let down because after that, it's over and I never want it to be over!! Perhaps a Santa emoticon is in order? @)(++(*
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WHAT Christmas! We still have Halloween and Guy Fawkes to go. I love the next few weeks. It's usually not too cold with a fair amount of sunshine. Trees look spectacular. Live the moment!
I was in my local Coop last week, or might have been week before, and they had Christmas food bits. Then noticed last week Christmas bits in John Lewis and Boots. John Lewis have all their decorations/trees on display and dangly bits hanging from the store ceiling which I think might be cardboard Christmas trees 8)><(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YT8AO8GbKk
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I love the build up and all the decorations and shopping - the day is always a bit of a let down because after that, it's over and I never want it to be over!! [pre]Perhaps a Santa emoticon is in order? [/pre] @)(++(*
No! Not till bloody December! ?{)(**
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Bah humbug! It's not bloody Christmas yet .... not even close!
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A cross between Halloween and Christmas ?{)(**
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2K4wJ8EmZ0
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From the ridiculous... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYQv7T7HfR4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYQv7T7HfR4) ?8)@)-)
... to the sublime and beautiful... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK-NZc4O6mA ?{)(** (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK-NZc4O6mA)
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Have any bah humbugs actually started their christmas shopping yet?
Can we have Shona back now? I'm pissed off that she's not here.
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Have any bah humbugs actually started their christmas shopping yet?
Can we have Shona back now? I'm pissed off that she's not here.
Don't think pugsy's still banned... she's keeping a low profile till the g&t wears off. ?>)()<
Just wrapped a present up for a cousin... http://www.firebox.com/product/2737/Glow-in-the-Dark-Loo-Roll (http://www.firebox.com/product/2737/Glow-in-the-Dark-Loo-Roll) ... it's one she gave to me several years ago that I never used!
A Christmas song for all miserable bu**ers everywhere... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZWQcl1C-c8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZWQcl1C-c8)
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Sounds a bit like Viv Stanshall.
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I love Christmas, even though I spend it alone each year. I do all of the usual junk like decorations and pretendy snow. But it is more of a Winter Solstice for me.
And after that, Spring is just around the corner.
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Don't you visit family, Eleanor?
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Don't you visit family, Eleanor?
I can't face the journey to The Ferry. And my family can't afford The Ferry. The prices always rocket at Christmas. But I really don't mind.
But thanks for asking.
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Now that we have got Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night done and dusted it time to start to get into the pre festive Christmas Spirit. I always look forward to the John Lewis Christmas advert this time of the year.
The 2014 advert is excellent as usual this time using a penguin that going to be kids and adults favorite present this year having it related to penguins. John Lewis 2014 advert still does not beat the bear and hare 2013 Christmas John Lewis Advert that happens to be my all time favorite Christmas advert. 8()-000(
http://www.johnlewis.com/christmas-advert-2014-montys-christmas
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
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Now that we have got Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night done and dusted it time to start to get into the pre festive Christmas Spirit. I always look forward to the John Lewis Christmas advert this time of the year.
The 2014 advert is excellent as usual this time using a penguin that going to be kids and adults favorite present this year having it related to penguins. John Lewis 2014 advert still does not beat the bear and hare 2013 Christmas John Lewis Advert that happens to be my all time favorite Christmas advert. 8()-000(
http://www.johnlewis.com/christmas-advert-2014-montys-christmas
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
Years ago my friend's son, who has Down's Syndrome, went on a daytrip to Drayton Manor. When he came home in the evening he was soaking wet, smelt of fish and had a baby penguin in his rucksack.
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Years ago my friend's son, who has Down's Syndrome, went on a daytrip to Drayton Manor. When he came home in the evening he was soaking wet, smelt of fish and had a baby penguin in his rucksack.
Are you telling the truth? Incredible story if you are.
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Are you telling the truth? Incredible story if you are.
It's true!! It got onto local radio. It was ages ago, though I still laugh about it! My friend was furious that he'd managed to get so wet and mucky so went straight upstairs to run him a bath, and he asked if he could have a penguin in with him. When she opened his rucksack, she saw what he meant! They took it back the next day and as far as I know, it survived!
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It's true!! It got onto local radio. It was ages ago, though I still laugh about it! My friend was furious that he'd managed to get so wet and mucky so went straight upstairs to run him a bath, and he asked if he could have a penguin in with him. When she opened his rucksack, she saw what he meant! They took it back the next day and as far as I know, it survived!
How wonderfully funny. Imagine her face when she opened his ruck sack.
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How wonderfully funny. Imagine her face when she opened his ruck sack.
Imagine her face when she had to clean the bottom of the rucksack! 8(8-))
Everyone's complaining about the "Real Love" song being murdered by Tom Odell, but I don't think it's all that bad. Probably better than the original which sounds as if it's being sung through a drainpipe!
Although if starryian (an avid Lennon fan) was back here he'd be 8()(((@#
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Imagine her face when she had to clean the bottom of the rucksack! 8(8-))
Everyone's complaining about the "Real Love" song being murdered by Tom Odell, but I don't think it's all that bad. Probably better than the original which sounds as if it's being sung through a drainpipe!
Although if starryian (an avid Lennon fan) was back here he'd be 8()(((@#
Don't be a party pooper. It's funny, okay.
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Don't be a party pooper. It's funny, okay.
8()-000( You won't believe it but I'm a glass three-quarters full man myself! ?{)(**
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8()-000( You won't believe it but I'm a glass three-quarters full man myself! ?{)(**
All I ever got from my kids was a bathroom sink full of tadpoles which came in jam jars when I wasn't watching. The glasses never lasted long enough in our house.
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I prefer Lennons original. Jeff Lynne did a good job producing it IMO.
Don't like the John Lewis advert version.
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I prefer Lennons original. Jeff Lynne did a good job producing it IMO.
Don't like the John Lewis advert version.
Both have their merits:
Beatles original... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYDwMeoCYB8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYDwMeoCYB8)
Tom Odell understated... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZLYp-jgx-I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZLYp-jgx-I)
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Both have their merits:
Beatles original... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYDwMeoCYB8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYDwMeoCYB8)
Tom Odell understated... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZLYp-jgx-I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZLYp-jgx-I)
That is very charitable of you Myster.
They shouldn't be mentioned together in the same breath. I wonder if Odell even knows (or cares) what he's singing about.
I have to hand it to them, the John Lewis marketing team do the most staggeringly effective job.
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Now that we have got Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night done and dusted it time to start to get into the pre festive Christmas Spirit. I always look forward to the John Lewis Christmas advert this time of the year.
The 2014 advert is excellent as usual this time using a penguin that going to be kids and adults favorite present this year having it related to penguins. John Lewis 2014 advert still does not beat the bear and hare 2013 Christmas John Lewis Advert that happens to be my all time favorite Christmas advert. 8()-000(
http://www.johnlewis.com/christmas-advert-2014-montys-christmas
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
Awww that's so cute Nick. I think I like the penguin one best ?{)(**
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With the new John Lewis Store opening next year above the newly refurbished New Street Station the closest one that Birmingham has to offer at the moment is in Solihull Town Centre south east of the City at Touchwoods Shopping Centre where I see my AS psychologist.
I prefer to go clothes shopping in Next or at Debenhams as the John Lewis clothing is not really suited to my fashion style and age range. I do however like John Lewis with their household section. M&S are great for food shopping for special occasions but not so good in their clothing section.
Funny how one advert can make thousands of shoppers flock to John Lewis Stores nationwide as I witnessed yesterday driving past one! I usually try and avoid adverts if as they are too long and annoying by doing something else in another room or flick to a BBC channel between adverts.
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
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It's true!! It got onto local radio. It was ages ago, though I still laugh about it! My friend was furious that he'd managed to get so wet and mucky so went straight upstairs to run him a bath, and he asked if he could have a penguin in with him. When she opened his rucksack, she saw what he meant! They took it back the next day and as far as I know, it survived!
That's sweet and funny but I hope the penguin wasn't too traumatised.
He obviously took the p p p pick up a penguin quite literally 8)-)))
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“Why can’t bears eat penguins”? &%+((£
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
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“Why can’t bears eat penguins”? &%+((£
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
They can't get the wrappers off.
8((()*/
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Yes correct 8@??)(
“Because they cannot take off the wrapping”
This is a joke my friend that had a brain tumour at the age of 16 who is now 35, his tumour cannot be removed that left him with short term memory and hair loss and double vision in one eye.
His brother told him a penguin joke that he keeps telling everyone since he been told this joke as he says “he now has a sense of tumour” and full of jokes some of them bad
“Why do penguins walk softly?”
“Because they can’t walk hardly” *&*%£
Some of his jokes he repeats due to his short term memory, I will give you one joke he likes to repeat that's funny as it sounds so bizarre so end up laughing at this joke each time he says it!
“What is white and cannot climb trees?”
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
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Will never guess it!
“A fridge”
Told you it would be a poor joke! 8**8:/:
nickwclarke2014@BhamUK
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That is very charitable of you Myster.
They shouldn't be mentioned together in the same breath. I wonder if Odell even knows (or cares) what he's singing about.
I have to hand it to them, the John Lewis marketing team do the most staggeringly effective job.
Got to wear my impartial moderator's cap sometimes, sika! (until Holly steps into my slippers).
Never heard of Tom Odell until the JL advert was posted here, but let's face it he's got a weak singing voice, and Jeff Lynne goes overboard with production in the Beatles version. If a cover has to be sung by someone, "Real Love" needs a quality voice and a simple piano arrangement similar to Lennon's solo effort to do it justice.
Agree that John Lewis have hit the jackpot with a schmaltzy ad ... sweatshops in the Far East will be busy churning out hundreds of cuddly toy penguins until Christmas!
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Got to wear my impartial moderator's cap sometimes, sika! (until Holly steps into my slippers).
Never heard of Tom Odell until the JL advert was posted here, but let's face it he's got a weak singing voice, and Jeff Lynne goes overboard with production in the Beatles version. If a cover has to be sung by someone, "Real Love" needs a quality voice and a simple piano arrangement similar to Lennon's solo effort to do it justice.
Agree that John Lewis have hit the jackpot with a schmaltzy ad ... sweatshops in the Far East will be busy churning out hundreds of cuddly toy penguins until Christmas!
190 quid for Monty and Mabel. ?8)@)-)
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190 quid for Monty and Mabel. ?8)@)-)
I've just forked out 10 quid for mat's Chrissy present to keep his implants pumped up!
(http://i.imgur.com/8S9nel1.png?3)
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Christmas. Can we talk about Christmas again? Or Noel, as it is called here.
I love Christmas And it's nearly here. Yep, I am going to be on my own again, apart from Charlotte, but I really don't mind, and nor does Charlotte.
I did my last minute shopping today, and God help me, I bought the piggy little pug some fresh Beef, AND a packet of special treats. I am beginning to wonder which one of us is actually the most demented.
But she's not getting any of my Snails. Well, perhaps just one. And then she can lick the plates. That'll cut down on the washing up.
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Christmas. Can we talk about Christmas again? Or Noel, as it is called here.
I love Christmas And it's nearly here. Yep, I am going to be on my own again, apart from Charlotte, but I really don't mind, and nor does Charlotte.
I did my last minute shopping today, and God help me, I bought the piggy little pug some fresh Beef, AND a packet of special treats. I am beginning to wonder which one of us is actually the most demented.
But she's not getting any of my Snails. Well, perhaps just one. And then she can lick the plates. That'll cut down on the washing up.
Yep! The Season of Goodwill and all the Kind greetings that go with it.
Snails? Yuk! Not for me I'm afraid.
I will stick to prawns, turkey and xmas pudding.
It would be nice to see some funny or endearing stories of Christmas on here and piccis.
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(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Holidays_and_Party/xmas-115.gif)
Santa will be on his way soon, so I would like to wish everyone ..
A Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Holidays_and_Party/party-110.gif)
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The science of Santa:
Mr Claus will eat 150 BILLION calories and visit 5,556 houses per SECOND this Christmas Eve.
Based on population figures, Santa will deliver gifts to 1.6 billion children
This requires visiting 5,556 homes a second and eating 150 billion calories
Each child needs 80cm of wrapping, which would stretch 1.5 million miles
the total number of presents would set Santa back £279.27 billion
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2521973/The-science-Santa-Mr-Claus-eat-150-BILLION-calories-visit-5-556-houses-SECOND-Christmas-Eve.html
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The science of Santa:
Mr Claus will eat 150 BILLION calories and visit 5,556 houses per SECOND this Christmas Eve.
Based on population figures, Santa will deliver gifts to 1.6 billion children
This requires visiting 5,556 homes a second and eating 150 billion calories
Each child needs 80cm of wrapping, which would stretch 1.5 million miles
the total number of presents would set Santa back £279.27 billion
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2521973/The-science-Santa-Mr-Claus-eat-150-BILLION-calories-visit-5-556-houses-SECOND-Christmas-Eve.html
So there must be more than one, after all? 8(8-))
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A Scientific Disproof of the Santa Theory, and a couple of Rebuttals Thereto.
Original source: sirius@wam.umd.edu (The Human Neutrino aka Linda Harden)
Original Title: IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion -- If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
@)(++(*
http://www.daclarke.org/Humour/santa.html
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A Scientific Disproof of the Santa Theory, and a couple of Rebuttals Thereto.
Original source: sirius@wam.umd.edu (The Human Neutrino aka Linda Harden)
Original Title: IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion -- If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
@)(++(*
http://www.daclarke.org/Humour/santa.html
8)><( 8)><( 8)><(
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http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/static/card_7944_rs.swf
Happy Christmas wishes for all
sadie x
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Happy Christmas, Sadie,
I personally tracked Santa all over America. He's not long headed home to The North Pole. So it is true.
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http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/static/card_7944_rs.swf
Happy Christmas wishes for all
sadie x
A very big DITTO. Happy Christmas Sadie. 8((()*/
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http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/static/card_7944_rs.swf
Happy Christmas wishes for all
sadie x
Loved the little singing card *&(+(+
Have a really good Christmas, Sadie
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A Scientific Disproof of the Santa Theory, and a couple of Rebuttals Thereto.
Original source: sirius@wam.umd.edu (The Human Neutrino aka Linda Harden)
Original Title: IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion -- If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
@)(++(*
http://www.daclarke.org/Humour/santa.html
Thank goodness my granddaughter, gave me the reason for Santa being able to do all the Christmas things, that only he can do.... "Magic!" she said "He can freeze time for years at a time and get it all done without aging" ?{)(**
Pity he cant share that magic with us oldies. @)(++(*
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Thank goodness my granddaughter, gave me the reason for Santa being able to do all the Christmas things, that only he can do.... "Magic!" she said "He can freeze time for years at a time and get it all done without aging" ?{)(**
Pity he cant share that magic with us oldies. @)(++(*
He did. I'm still eighteen.
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He did. I'm still eighteen.
Favouritism was it? 8()(((@# 8(0(*
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Favouritism was it? 8()(((@# 8(0(*
No. Just Dementia.
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No. Just Dementia.
I've got a sister called Dementia. She keeps forgetting her name @)(++(*
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I've got a sister called Dementia. She keeps forgetting her name
@)(++(*
Did she give the magic potion to Eleanor? If so can you ask her if she has any more.
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I've got a sister called Dementia. She keeps forgetting her name @)(++(*
OMG. That is The Pits.
PS. Is she a member of this Forum? She would have to be demented if she is.
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OMG. That is The Pits.
PS. Is she a member of this Forum? She would have to be demented if she is.
Nah.. she forgot her password. ?{)(**
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Nah.. she forgot her password. ?{)(**
Double Snort.
You mean she didn't "Save" it? But then who would?
It's a good job I never get "Logged Out" because that would be me gone.
And you can all stop plotting to log me out. Or do me a favour.
-
I have just eaten "Paupettes" of something or another. Undoubtedly, unspeakably French. But they were half price at the time as they had hit their sell by date.
I have no idea what they tasted like as my taste buds had been totally destroyed by too much cheap wine.
Roll on Christmas.
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I have just eaten "Paupettes" of something or another. Undoubtedly, unspeakably French. But they were half price at the time as they had hit their sell by date.
I have no idea what they tasted like as my taste buds had been totally destroyed by too much cheap wine.
Roll on Christmas.
@)(++(*
I am not allowed alcohol (underage), but the stuffed butterfly sounds good.............Ah!... No I got that wrong.....That's papillon, I believe. &%+((£
Cotes do Rhone and chateneauf du pape were my favourites, both French of course.
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A wee Ode
Christmas Dear
The love of Christmas we hold dear
And think of loved ones far and near.
Christmas pud and all things nice
Some xmas cake….but… just a slice.
Lots of pressies, sweeties too
And best of all….to share with you.
The songs of praise and jolly fun
Mincemeat pies and rich fruit bun.
Goodwill to others in your heart
And that’s the most important part.
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Happy Xmas everyone. Santa's knackered, he'll need a year to recover. Luckily Christmas only comes but once a year.
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Hope everyone has had a brill Christmas day *&*%£
X
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*&(+(+ for all the good wishes
Good luck to anyone brave enough to face the Boxing day sales. I was always there early and made some terrible mistakes in my eagerness to grab a bargain. Still the chairty shops did well as I got rid of them.
Hope you do better.
Nigh Night
sadie x
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*&(+(+ for all the good wishes
Good luck to anyone brave enough to face the Boxing day sales. I was always there early and made some terrible mistakes in my eagerness to grab a bargain. Still the chairty shops did well as I got rid of them.
Hope you do better.
Nigh Night
sadie x
Not me, I've been out most of Christmas so staying in on Boxing Day. I might do a bit of bargain hunting from my four poster @)(++(*
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Hope everyone has had a brill Christmas day *&*%£
X
You too, my duck.
And thanks to John for his forbearance, best love to Andrea the finest woman in the world, massive sexy kisses to Tim, the people's hero, and....
up your arse, Gladys, lookout, and ngb. You are all a massive bunch of wank, and you make me ashamed to be human. You really do.
And Myster, you have my heart.
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Eewww!, not too keen on offal... but I'll sample a bit of juicy pug rump anytime. (http://i.imgur.com/5dWgRk0.gif)
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Shona, bless ya.
I had a fab Christmas day. Dinner was sublime, even if I say so myself,
Loved all my presents. I also snapped up great bargains in M&S. Perfect.
Shona, how did your day go?
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Eewww!, not too keen on offal... but I'll sample a bit of juicy pug rump anytime. (http://i.imgur.com/5dWgRk0.gif)
Ho Ho!! The best meat's in the rump!
8**8:/:
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Shona, bless ya.
I had a fab Christmas day. Dinner was sublime, even if I say so myself,
Loved all my presents. I also snapped up great bargains in M&S. Perfect.
Shona, how did your day go?
Yes, lovely day thanks, Andy. And we went to the sales today! BT got some XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL pants ("there's never enough room for me plums") and I got a rather spiffy jumper from Fat Face! And lunch - result!!
Glad that you had a wonderful Christmas. You deserve it. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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It's Midnight here, so Happy New Year, Everyone. xxxx
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Only 347 days to go, Christmas music anyone? Ho ho ho
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Only 289 days to go!
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Only 289 days to go!
As many as that?
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You REALLY like Christmas, Andrea!!! @)(++(*
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This year's John Lewis Christmas ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuz2ILq4UeA
Is it suggesting grandparents should be sent to another planet Christmas day?
&%+((£
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Oh Goody. Time to talk about Christmas again. I love Christmas. And then it's Spring again.
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This year's John Lewis Christmas ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuz2ILq4UeA
Is it suggesting grandparents should be sent to another planet Christmas day?
&%+((£
I think he's Jimmy Savile.
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I like most people like Christmas, I cant stand the marketing of it from middle of November
Bah humbag on that front
Then again there are people who have their Xmas tree up 365 days a year...interesting...for a psychiatrist maybe
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Wickerman just started on ITV4. The original with Lee and Woodward
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Wickerman just started on ITV4. The original with Lee and Woodward
Isn't the internet wonderful?... now I can watch Britt Ekland's tantalizing erotic dance :-o and imagine myself as frustrated as Edwood Woodwood whenever I want!!! :-{
Or better still, dust off my prized DVD to see the whole film over and over again! :-) ... but skip the end bit where it gets a bit too hot. :-(
https://vimeo.com/87336570 (https://vimeo.com/87336570)
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This year's John Lewis Christmas ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuz2ILq4UeA
Is it suggesting grandparents should be sent to another planet Christmas day?
&%+((£
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/john-lewis-christmas-advert-inspires-thousands-to-volunteer-to-help-the-elderly-a6732246.html
Mind you the song does make mention of smells &%+((£
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Merry Christmas wishes, to everyone.
A season of goodwill to all men and a time for family and friends togetherness, is how I look upon this time of the year.
(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Holidays_and_Party/party-110.gif)
I also wish a very Merry Christmas to the McCanns and family and everyone who is connected to the ongoing search.
I hope and pray that 2016 be more revealing as to what happened to Madeleine, since very little has come to light in the years of investigating, so far.
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Merry Christmas wishes, to everyone.
A season of goodwill to all men and a time for family and friends togetherness, is how I look upon this time of the year.
(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Holidays_and_Party/party-110.gif)
I also wish a very Merry Christmas to the McCanns and family and everyone who is connected to the ongoing search.
I hope and pray that 2016 be more revealing as to what happened to Madeleine, since very little has come to light in the years of investigating, so far.
To acknowledge the contribution made to the forum by Anna we have made her the first Honorary member.
Happy Christmas Anna wherever you are. 8((()*/