Author Topic: Parenting.  (Read 1969 times)

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Offline Vertigo Swirl

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #15 on: December 07, 2018, 05:35:14 PM »
Unfortunately that test doesn't exist.  8)--))
Iím sure there are a few pretty perfect parents on here who could volunteer to create one.
"The answer is that no-one here believes the parents were directly involved in MM's disappearance" - G-Unit.

Offline Sunny

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #16 on: December 07, 2018, 05:49:39 PM »
Iím sure there are a few pretty perfect parents on here who could volunteer to create one.

Are you volunteering VS? 8**8:/:
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Offline Vertigo Swirl

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #17 on: December 07, 2018, 05:55:16 PM »
Are you volunteering VS? 8**8:/:
What gives you the impression that I am a practically perfect parent?  I am OK.  I got told off by my sonís nursery for the fact he was still pooing his nappy when he was around 2 years old, so clearly Iím not.  Also, I sometimes left him asleep in his cot to fetch his sister from school, a round trip of about a five minute walk .  Frankly I should probably be locked up. 
"The answer is that no-one here believes the parents were directly involved in MM's disappearance" - G-Unit.

Offline G-Unit

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #18 on: December 08, 2018, 10:19:03 AM »
But should it?! 

Listening to Radio 4 this morning it seems many baby banks are now springing up which work along the same lines as food banks. 

In the following article Bianca, mum of 2, says she feels embarrassed by having to use such a facility and yet she is pregnant with her third child.  I don't wish to sound horribly judgmental or a right wing zealot but why would you want to bring a third child into the world if you're relying on charity to support your existing two?

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/thousands-desperate-parents-relying-baby-13489511

In an ideal world every child would be planned and it's parents would have sufficient money to provide for all it's needs. The real world is far from ideal, unfortunately. People have unplanned pregnancies, marriages break down, jobs get lost and so on. The jury's out on why people have babies, but the fact is that they do regardless of whether they can guarantee to meet the child's needs.
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Offline APRIL

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #19 on: December 08, 2018, 04:49:11 PM »
Iím sure there are a few pretty perfect parents on here who could volunteer to create one.

Whoa!! Heaven protect us from perfect parents!!! The only necessity is that they're good enough.

Offline Vertigo Swirl

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #20 on: December 08, 2018, 06:24:17 PM »
In an ideal world every child would be planned and it's parents would have sufficient money to provide for all it's needs. The real world is far from ideal, unfortunately. People have unplanned pregnancies, marriages break down, jobs get lost and so on. The jury's out on why people have babies, but the fact is that they do regardless of whether they can guarantee to meet the child's needs.
ĒThe juryís out on why people have babies...?Ē. Is it really?!  I thought that was the sole purpose of any species, to reproduce.  Itís a basic biological imperative innit?
"The answer is that no-one here believes the parents were directly involved in MM's disappearance" - G-Unit.

Offline G-Unit

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #21 on: December 08, 2018, 10:02:41 PM »
ĒThe juryís out on why people have babies...?Ē. Is it really?!  I thought that was the sole purpose of any species, to reproduce.  Itís a basic biological imperative innit?

I thought that, but 'the experts' don't agree it seems.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-carroll/childfree_b_1752906.html

I agree with the experts who say smell is used to pick biologically compatible partners though. Get that right and you'll have strong healthy babies imo.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/sep/08/can-you-smell-perfect-partner

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Offline Holly Goodhead

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #22 on: December 09, 2018, 01:13:13 PM »
Whoa!! Heaven protect us from perfect parents!!! The only necessity is that they're good enough.

Yep we have the UKís Donald Winnicott to thank for the concept of the Ďgood enoughí parent.  US psychologist, Allan Schore, says the mother makes many mistakes but that itís her abilty to repair thatís important. 
Setting the pussy among the pigeons!

Offline Holly Goodhead

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #23 on: December 10, 2018, 01:33:03 PM »
In an ideal world every child would be planned and it's parents would have sufficient money to provide for all it's needs. The real world is far from ideal, unfortunately. People have unplanned pregnancies, marriages break down, jobs get lost and so on. The jury's out on why people have babies, but the fact is that they do regardless of whether they can guarantee to meet the child's needs.

But in UK 2018 we have extremely reliable methods of contraception if used as per manufactures guidelines.  In the event of a mishap we have the option of the morning after pill and termination. 

Circumstances can change beyond one's control and individuals/families should be supported but I don't think its right that anyone can bring children into the world when the odds are so stacked against the child even getting off the starting block eg:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/12/07/mother-ex-partner-jailed-brutal-murder-three-week-baby-judge/

Listen to Samuel Davies convicted of murdering the 3 week old baby (above) on this YouTube vid:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0miaNRgJXao

How were the perps brought up?  And had little Stanley survived into adulthood how would he have fared?  Sadly we will never know but the odds would be stacked against him raised by such individuals. 

All of this puts a huge burden on public services: police, social workers, schools/teachers, NHS, judiciary. 

Imo it would be far better if would be parents had to meet some sort of basic criteria.

Setting the pussy among the pigeons!

Offline APRIL

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #24 on: December 10, 2018, 04:08:07 PM »
But in UK 2018 we have extremely reliable methods of contraception if used as per manufactures guidelines.  In the event of a mishap we have the option of the morning after pill and termination. 

Circumstances can change beyond one's control and individuals/families should be supported but I don't think its right that anyone can bring children into the world when the odds are so stacked against the child even getting off the starting block eg:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/12/07/mother-ex-partner-jailed-brutal-murder-three-week-baby-judge/

Listen to Samuel Davies convicted of murdering the 3 week old baby (above) on this YouTube vid:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0miaNRgJXao

How were the perps brought up?  And had little Stanley survived into adulthood how would he have fared?  Sadly we will never know but the odds would be stacked against him raised by such individuals. 

All of this puts a huge burden on public services: police, social workers, schools/teachers, NHS, judiciary. 

Imo it would be far better if would be parents had to meet some sort of basic criteria.


Mmm! Hopefully, criteria somewhat more stringent that those fulfilled by post war adopting parents, ie adequate income and a separate room for the child?

Offline G-Unit

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2018, 07:13:18 PM »

Mmm! Hopefully, criteria somewhat more stringent that those fulfilled by post war adopting parents, ie adequate income and a separate room for the child?

A good point. The middle class families who can't or won't potty train their children probably planned when to have them and would have passed any tests.
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Offline Holly Goodhead

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #26 on: December 11, 2018, 02:20:10 PM »
I'm talking about some sort of way of encouraging or preventing the likes of the above bringing children into the world who would be at serious risk of abuse and neglect before they are even conceived/born. 
Setting the pussy among the pigeons!

Offline Holly Goodhead

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2018, 02:32:10 PM »
A good point. The middle class families who can't or won't potty train their children probably planned when to have them and would have passed any tests.

But are most children of middle class parents likely to suffer poor outcomes in terms of educational attainment, job prospects, housing, socio-economic group, relationships, mental and physical health, a crime free life without addictions to various substances.

Of course there will be instances of children having every advantage going off the rails and those suffering every disadvantage overcoming these adversities but I'm not interested in extreme cases just typical outcomes.

 
Setting the pussy among the pigeons!

Offline APRIL

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2018, 04:48:18 PM »
I'm talking about some sort of way of encouraging or preventing the likes of the above bringing children into the world who would be at serious risk of abuse and neglect before they are even conceived/born.


I believe compulsory sterilization has already been tried. and is still being implemented in some cultures.

Offline G-Unit

Re: Parenting.
« Reply #29 on: December 12, 2018, 05:20:54 AM »
But are most children of middle class parents likely to suffer poor outcomes in terms of educational attainment, job prospects, housing, socio-economic group, relationships, mental and physical health, a crime free life without addictions to various substances.

Of course there will be instances of children having every advantage going off the rails and those suffering every disadvantage overcoming these adversities but I'm not interested in extreme cases just typical outcomes.

 

It's a fact that poor children have less chance of doing well in school than middle class children, but that isn't because they are less able, it's because the educational system favours the middle class child.
https://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2018/mar/02/working-class-children-born-to-fail-teachers-disadvantaged-pupils



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