The Find Madeleine Campaign. Controlled Strategy or Runaway Tiger?

[CPN]

Have you ever been to a Kampong?  Or seen a bunch of Chinese children from a Kampong?  And I only knew where he had been because he told me.
But I did trust these people, although I have to say that my child rearing was not condoned by most Brits.
But that's it, you see.  You have to trust somewhere along the way.  You can't spend your life imagining every horror story.

It is so easy for me to see what Kate and Gerry did.  And why they are now shifting their own hell to find Madeleine.

No I haven't - I've been, as I said, briefly (overnight) in Singapore on the way to and from Australia, and somewhat different but also in the far east, spent 2 weeks in Hong Kong (before its return to China)  But, as I said, you lived there (as I understand it) and consciously or not, made your decisions based on what you knew there, and how you felt about your Amah.  That is not the same as leaving your children alone on strange territory.   

For various reasons I used to have to go into hospital when my son was young, but was always very careful who I left him with, who was always the same person, so there was consistency, and I used to write a note for my friend to read to him in the morning so he was reassured!   For me, the operative word is 'reassurance'

[Eleanor]

No I haven't - I've been, as I said, briefly (overnight) in Singapore on the way to and from Australia, and somewhat different but also in the far east, spent 2 weeks in Hong Kong (before its return to China)  But, as I said, you lived there (as I understand it) and consciously or not, made your decisions based on what you knew there, and how you felt about your Amah.  That is not the same as leaving your children alone on strange territory.   

For various reasons I used to have to go into hospital when my son was young, but was always very careful who I left him with, who was always the same person, so there was consistency, and I used to write a note for my friend to read to him in the morning so he was reassured!   For me, the operative word is 'reassurance'

What a difference between you and me.  Although I doubt that either of us was wrong.  Just different.  But I don't make a habit of critising other people.

I refused to go into a sanatorium when I had Tuberculosis because my presence was more important to me than written reassurance.
Fortunately Social Services eventually agreed with me.  But then they would have to have carried me out kicking and screaming.

In the end, you pays your money and you takes your choice.  And you try to be kind to people who make different choices.

[Cariad]

You obviously don't understand the post...the first time you let your child cross the road alone...is a risk...life is all about taking and minimising risks

We take risks that benefit the child, not ourselves. We allow our children to cross a road alone so that some day they can get to school or work. We allow them out to play with their friends so that they can develop social skill and be autonomous.

I suffered when my boys took those first steps towards a selfhood. They didn't.

The Mccanns took a risk that only benefited themselves. It's not the same thing at all.

[Redblossom]

We take risks that benefit the child, not ourselves. We allow our children to cross a road alone so that some day they can get to school or work. We allow them out to play with their friends so that they can develop social skill and be autonomous.

I suffered when my boys took those first steps towards a selfhood. They didn't.

The Mccanns took a risk that only benefited themselves. It's not the same thing at all.

Sense at last!

I wonder what the life training/skills/preparation was in leaving two two year old and a three year old alone....to wake up, have an accident,  anythng, wonder where mum and dad are? Oh I remember, maybe its finding your way out and going down a road to look for mum and dad in the nearby restaraunt......some of these arguments being touted are ludicrous and chalk and cheese with actual facts  IMO

[Eleanor]

We take risks that benefit the child, not ourselves. We allow our children to cross a road alone so that some day they can get to school or work. We allow them out to play with their friends so that they can develop social skill and be autonomous.

I suffered when my boys took those first steps towards a selfhood. They didn't.

The Mccanns took a risk that only benefited themselves. It's not the same thing at all.

It is a culmination of the overall effect.  The lives of parent's shouldn't end when they have children.  Otherwise they would become non people, and of no use to anyone.

Personally, I think that Mothers shouldn't work.  I never did until my children were grown.  But I would never tell a working mother that she should not do this.

I hassled the lack of money and stayed at home.  Does that make me a better parent?

[Mr Gray]

We take risks that benefit the child, not ourselves. We allow our children to cross a road alone so that some day they can get to school or work. We allow them out to play with their friends so that they can develop social skill and be autonomous.

I suffered when my boys took those first steps towards a selfhood. They didn't.

The Mccanns took a risk that only benefited themselves. It's not the same thing at all.

if I said the pope was a catholic...you too would not agree with me...didn't say it was the same...but life is full of risks...

[ferryman]

whatever the McCanns do it will be construed by those who doubt them as evidence of guilt...bizarre but true...if they sue they are vexatatious litigants and if they don't sue then the story is true. I cannot see how any guilty person would continue to make sure the case is kept in the public eye and is further investigated. They have had every opportunity to fade into the background

Bang on right, for my money.
 
At one time, it was predicted that they would fade away, and when they didn't, were accused of 'milking' it.

Damned if you do; damned if you don't.

The McCanns are simply determined to do everything possible to try to find their abducted daughter including, yes, enlisting the help of the media.

Why some people find that incompatible with also resenting, and striking back against, lies and falsehoods by the media is beyond me.

To some extent, yes, they have unleashed something like a Frankenstein's Monster that has the ability to turn against them as well as be helpful.

But they have retained some measure of control against the worst excesses of the press, which (in my opinion) is a good thing.

[Lyall]

Some?

Before October it was total.

[Mr Gray]

No I haven't - I've been, as I said, briefly (overnight) in Singapore on the way to and from Australia, and somewhat different but also in the far east, spent 2 weeks in Hong Kong (before its return to China)  But, as I said, you lived there (as I understand it) and consciously or not, made your decisions based on what you knew there, and how you felt about your Amah.  That is not the same as leaving your children alone on strange territory.   

For various reasons I used to have to go into hospital when my son was young, but was always very careful who I left him with, who was always the same person, so there was consistency, and I used to write a note for my friend to read to him in the morning so he was reassured!   For me, the operative word is 'reassurance'

 Strange ...in other countries leaving a young child alone in hospital overnight would be unheard of...parents allowed to stay with them...different cultures..different values

[Redblossom]

Strange ...in other countries leaving a young child alone in hospital overnight would be unheard of...parents allowed to stay with them...different cultures..different values

it might help if you actually read posts properly before inserting your knee jerk erroneous reactions...CPN did not say she left her son in hospital overnight, read it properly, SHE had to go to hospital and left her son with her friend....meanwhile your wish is granted, you are on ignore


 

[Redblossom]

Deleted double post

[Mr Gray]

it might help if you actually read posts properly before inserting your knee jerk erroneous reactions...CPN did not say she left her son in hospital overnight, read it properly, SHE had to go to hospital and left her son with her friend....meanwhile your wish is granted, you are on ignore


 

No you need to read it properly,,,try again...she left a note to be read IN THE MORNING....now if I am on ignore that means you don't address posts to me...try again

[CPN]

No you need to read it properly,,,try again...she left a note to be read IN THE MORNING....now if I am on ignore that means you don't address posts to me...try again

And I will break my rule because yet again you seem to be both being abusive and twisting to suit yourself.  Let us try in words of one syllable (except where there is not a one syllable word)

1) I had to go into hospital (sorry that has 3 syllables) not my son
2) My son stayed with my best friend (and her kids)
3) He stayed there each time so he was with a friend he knew well and felt safe with, and he got used to the pattern.
4) Each time I left a note for my friend to read to him in the morning (in her flat) to show him his mum was thinking about him

OK?

[Eleanor]

You see, I don't make a point of being perfect.  And nor do I expect others to be.  I just try to be kind.  This has taught my children that charity is above so much else.  My children are kind, which is all that I require of them.

[Angelo222]

Off topic posts will be removed.  No exceptions!!

If you want to discuss parenting in general start a new thread in the off topic board.