The psychology of it all - Is guilt deflected in other ways?

[Sherlock Holmes]

Forgot to add that I personally believe that the creation of global sightings of Madeleine is the strongest example.

He has projected Madeleine, and himself, literally all around the world, while there is no evidence whatsoever that she ever left Praia da Luz.

Distance.

[icabodcrane]

Well very broadly, I think his insistence in many different ways and in many contexts that he did nothing wrong in leaving his children; his shifting regularly the focus of attention, in the case in general, onto what other people are saying and doing rather than what he and his wife are / should have been doing; his pursuit of libel actions to the extent he has done; his focusing on the global 'sightings' of Madeleine whilst matters closer to home remained unexamined partly due to decisions made by the McCanns, are all examples of creating distance.

A person who feels pain and very often guilt will create a situation which contains elements of distance - real or imaginary as required - in order to buffer themselves from the pain.

Verbal distancing also comes into play quite a lot with GM ('we will always regret not being with Madeleine when she was taken') .  Here, he 'removes' himself from the situation, and thereby sidelining from himself his feelings of  guilt - creating nonsensical statements in the process.

Is that enough for now?

Thanks Sherlock,  that's an interesting line of thought   

Would you say,  then,  that Gerry's readiness to  'blame'  others might be sourced in his need avoid  'blaming' himself  ?

[Sherlock Holmes]

Thanks Sherlock,  that's an interesting line of thought   

Would you say,  then,  that Gerry's readiness to  'blame'  others might be sourced in his need avoid  'blaming' himself  ?

That is a fair summary

[VIXTE]

What should he blame himself for?
And who did he blame?

[icabodcrane]

That is a fair summary

Would that include Amaral and the Portuguese police do you think  ?

Do you think Gerry's determined avoidance of taking responsibility   (  blaming himself  )  for what happened to his daughter was reflected in his heaping of blame on the Portuguese police,  and Amaral in particular  ? 

[Sherlock Holmes]

What should he blame himself for?
And who did he blame?

I think if a parent loses a child then to a certain extent they blame themselves - regardless of the situation.

Not saying he did anything terrible - just that he feels natural feelings of guilt.

And he did not consciously 'blame' others. As above, it is my belief that he attempted to create distance in the situation by shifting focus away from himself onto external matters - and playing his part in snowballing those matters into the situation we have now. 

This creation of a worldwide circus is what Pat Brown refers to as narcissism, but it is really the opposite. It is the desire not to look at one's own reflection.

[VIXTE]

I think if a parent loses a child then to a certain extent they blame themselves - regardless of the situation.

Not saying he did anything terrible - just that he feels natural feelings of guilt.

And he did not consciously 'blame' others. As above, it is my belief that he attempted to create distance in the situation by shifting focus away from himself onto external matters - and playing his part in snowballing those matters into the situation we have now. 

This creation of a worldwide circus is what Pat Brown refers to as narcissism, but it is really the opposite. It is the desire not to look at one's own reflection.

There are 5 stages of grief: 1. denial. 2. anger 3. bargaining 4. depression. 5. acceptance.. - different people pass the stages at the different times.. but they all pass them..

[Sherlock Holmes]

There are 5 stages of grief: 1. denial. 2. anger 3. bargaining 4. depression. 5. acceptance.. - different people pass the stages at the different times.. but they all pass them..

Yes, that's the main theory on grief..though there are others.

Distance is part of the denial stage, and in this case that stage is being heavily prolonged by events.

[icabodcrane]

Yes, that's the main theory on grief..though there are others.

Distance is part of the denial stage, and in this case this stage is being heavily prolonged by events.

Is Kate also in a prolonged denial stage  do you think  ?

She's never acknowledged any feelings of guilt either 

[Sherlock Holmes]

Is Kate also in a prolonged denial stage  do you think  ?

She's never acknowledged any feelings of guilt either

She's on a magical mystery tour of her own.

[VIXTE]

These things are all true.

But Gerry McCann takes us all far away from Praia da Luz, not in an investigative sense, but in a psychological.

Gerry is a Gemini. He acts upon an advice of the specialists.. and so far he succeeded to get the professionals working on the case.

[Eleanor]

Yes, that's the main theory on grief..though there are others.

Distance is part of the denial stage, and in this case that stage is being heavily prolonged by events.

So what do you expect them to do?  Give up and accept it?

The searching is part of the guilt, but only a small part.

[Sherlock Holmes]

Gerry is a Gemini. He acts upon an advice of the specialists.. and so far he succeeded to get the professionals working on the case.

That may be part of it, but at the same time, specialists (the psychological ones, at least) would never have advised him to create something so big or have the fantasy last so long.

[Sherlock Holmes]

Would that include Amaral and the Portuguese police do you think  ?

Do you think Gerry's determined avoidance of taking responsibility   (  blaming himself  )  for what happened to his daughter was reflected in his heaping of blame on the Portuguese police,  and Amaral in particular  ?

Missed this one, icabod.

Will address it in due course.

[Benice]

Is Kate also in a prolonged denial stage  do you think  ?

She's never acknowledged any feelings of guilt either

Quote from KMs book

.......however unwittingly we'd given this predator an opportunity..  We had not been there for Madeleine. And, as I've said before and will say again, our guilt over that is a heavv cross we will bear for the rest of our lives.
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