responsibilities

[colinberry1]

Hi John, yes I am a custom to care homes, I use to go every day to feed Mary's mum and massage her leg's, she would not take food from anyone except us, her previous care home got the priests to give her the last rights, we moved her to another home and she lived on for a further year, the strong woman waited till we came round in the evening and when I massaged her legs she knew it was me and took a deep breath and died in our arms.

Dementia/Alzheimer's, yes it is a mad scenario you need patients of a Saint and extremely forgiving and put everything behind you, and always start a new day. They never warn me that impact injuries can also eventually turn to Dementia/Alzheimer's, it is quite common amongst boxes and American football players, I had to find out from American lawyers. My wife had bruising on the left side of her head that is where amyloid's build up in dementia, bearing in mine that she was hit by washing machines falling from 30 feet.

[colinberry1]

This is where my wives compensation is kept, why should we have to go and claim it, this money they have belongs to the people like my wife that had been badly injured and they should give her the money,
PUBLIC TRUST OFFICE: UNCLAIMED BALANCES HELD IN COURT AND THE OFFICE'S 1998-99 ACCOUNTS
 
Page 2 then tells you that the unclaimed balances from 1726 to the present day (17-4-2000) amounts to £32.3 million!
 
It is no wonder that they changed everything and the Public Trust Office was replaced by the Office of the Public Guardian.
 
What has happened to this money?
 
The Court Funds Office had difficulty in finding me on their records.
 
This booklet is 17 pages long, A4 size and was published by Authority of the House of Commons, for £8.00.
 
Would you like me to scan and send it to you?
 
My copy came from Amazon but it is tamped on the inside as,  "E.C.C. Libraries" and was listed as "withdrawn stock." 
 
Cheers, David

The Airline Pilot's story.
All in the mind?
http://www.oprus2001.co.uk/pilot.htm

[Holly Goodhead]

Oh Brilliant we have some new emoticons  *&*%£  So much fun!  And so much better than Blue...ha, ha, ha eat ya heart out 

I think it takes a certain type to work in a care home for the elderly and not something I could do.  I have not had cause to visit one but I know of others who have, either to visit relatives or work.  It seems to me the work is very demanding both physically and mentally with substantial responsibility.  Although I understand the pay and conditions are poor.  Why is this?  Why can someone work in another industry eg financial services and be rewarded generously often for fleecing all and sundry when others are caring for the elderly in a demanding environment and receive poor pay and conditions?   

I think care homes are often staffed from agencies where huge disparities exist between what the agency is paid and what the agency worker receives?  I have not researched the costing's, liabilities etc but on the surface it seems something is amiss here? 

I would like to have a living will drawn up and if I am unable to meet a certain criteria along the lines of the 'Acitivities of Daily Living' I would prefer to be put down.  Bit like a dog I guess 

[colinberry1]

Hi Holly Goodhead, the only roster I could find, but it would give you a rough idea. http://www.rqia.org.uk/cms_resources/Staffing%20Guidelines%20for%20Residential%20Care%20Homes.pdf

[Holly Goodhead]

Hi Holly Goodhead, the only roster I could find, but it would give you a rough idea. http://www.rqia.org.uk/cms_resources/Staffing%20Guidelines%20for%20Residential%20Care%20Homes.pdf

Hi colinberry

  for the link.

Page 2 is a bit worrying where it states:

"2.4 Competency and Experience of staff

The competency levels of all staff should be determined by the registered person. Regulation 21 (5) (b) of The Residential Care Homes Regulations (Northern Ireland) 2005 states that a person is not fit to work at a home unless: -

“He has the qualifications or training suitable to the work that he is to perform, and the skills and experience necessary for such work.”

So it appears that there's no standard minimum qualification just that the 'registered person' deems him/her suitable based on the above criteria which is surely open to much interpretation.  &%+((£

[colinberry1]

Well Holly, I have been at it for 12 years now and knew nothing about caring for others, all I knew is when my wife had her horrific injury I had full responsibilities to make sure that everything was done for her that she could not do.
I guess you don't have to be brilliant to care for people, in my case all it took was love an understanding knowing what have to be done, it requires a lot of common sense and you will grow with the problem as it progress.

I guess the reality is you cannot go to college to learn how to be honest and have commonsense, most of the requirements are in your general programming on how you look after yourself if you have any problems of that kind, so it you are a lazy person that do not know how to take responsibilities taking care of your appearance and general hygiene requirements, I guess you will make a lousy carer.

[colinberry1]

Well Holly, the general logic we possess for example wearing slippers, in case there was objects on the floor that could penetrate your feet, if you trod on it you would naturally go down and pick it out your foot, but someone with late stage dementia would not know what is happening, you now have the responsibility to realize that there is a problem, you may trace the problem to there feet, but convincing the patient that you have to remove it is a totally different scenario, first of all they may not know what is feet, then you have the struggle trying to get to their feet, a different scenario trying to remove it in the midst of the screaming and yelling trying to keep the patient still, alternatives, going to Hospital, having to have her sedated is another problem again, the easy way is to make sure she has her slippers on at all times.

[Eleanor]

Well Holly, the general logic we possess for example wearing slippers, in case there was objects on the floor that could penetrate your feet, if you trod on it you would naturally go down and pick it out your foot, but someone with late stage dementia would not know what is happening, you now have the responsibility to realize that there is a problem, you may trace the problem to there feet, but convincing the patient that you have to remove it is a totally different scenario, first of all they may not know what is feet, then you have the struggle trying to get to their feet, a different scenario trying to remove it in the midst of the screaming and yelling trying to keep the patient still, alternatives, going to Hospital, having to have her sedated is another problem again, the easy way is to make sure she has her slippers on at all times.

But your wife obviously doesn't like slippers, so I suppose you must have to battle with her to get them on, when you can find them.  You said the other day that this can take hours.  So what do you do in these circumstances?
Does she mind wearing shoes?

[colinberry1]

Eleanor, in circumstances like this, I have to put on her a lightweight pair of shoes till I find the other pair, but sometimes I would turn round and find her having the odd pair of slippers with her shoes, she does not know left from right any more, it is easier to wait when she is dropping off to swap them round then to do it when she is awake, because she will not allow that to happen, she thinks you are trying to deny her from her slippers or shoes. I know it is all rather mad, but that is how it is.

[colinberry1]

I was told to obtain a guardianship order for my wife. I don't have time with all of her care. Is there a way around this? http://www.agingcare.com/Questions/way-around-guardianship-order-163668.htm?cpage=0&post=1&cm=388784&z=1#388784

I never knew how ignorant people can be, I was trying to obtain advice on, guardianship order, and this is the sort of answers I receive, not having the time to answer some of them, I thought they were supposed to email me if anybody posted a thread.
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Colin in a previous post you stated that the money now tied up is partly Mary's but a large amount is due to you for the losses you have sustained in giving up your life to devote to caring for your wife.
I have not heard of anyone on this site say they are caring for a loved one or a relative they feel a duty towards, for MONEY. yes there are some out there who try and succeed in skimming the cream off the estate and dumping the relative in a NH on Medicaid. But most stories relate to the financial sacrifices that caregivers make
We don't know you so can not judge your motives harsh as this sounds, we can not talk to Mary. In the present circumstances her care is assured whether you like the methods or not. You have said no one else would care for Mary so what happens if you are struck by lightening? Good care is expensive but thank God or Costco the money is there for her comfort
Mary is the one who had her life ruined with no prospect of recovery the money is available for her personal care for the rest of her life. Did you sue Costco for the loss of Mary as a wife?
I would feel more sympathy if you said you needed money to make alterations to the house for Mary's comfort, maybe a spa, motorized wheel chair of other advanced medical equipment. You are simply trying to have Mary declared incompetent to get your hands on her money. Can you justify your position?
I do not know how we could help here if you have already invested $400K fighting authorities. I think this is what CM is also trying to understand.
http://www.agingcare.com/Questions/way-around-guardianship-order-163668.htm?cpage=0&post=1&cm=388784&z=1#388784
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Wow Veronica91, extremely hard words. I did not realize that you had posted this thread here.
I hope such a nightmare like this never happened to you, in one second I lost my wife, and became a 24/7 carer, an establish business for nearly 20 years I had to close it, lost all of our friends and neighbors, had to distance ourselves from everyone to save them the embarrassment of making excuses why they could not help, currently we are both surviving on our pensions.
Well as far as this big money I'm after, I have managed to spend all of our lives savings, both my parents have died since and using what they had left me from their estate.
I am yet to see the money that is suppose to be due to us for this nightmare of this horrific incident, I realize when this is all over, if I survive I have to obtain justice from this pathetic legal and judicial system, please forgive my soul and don't think for a moment that money played any importance in this scenario, if it had I would have dropped all of my responsibilities to my wife and pursue the money due to us.
Veronica91, you say you don't know us well if you bother to Google colinberry1 there is enough of information on the Internet about us and our family, but as for Veronica91, you could even be Costco's solicitors for all I know. If you at all interested in our situation, there is everything about me on my pearltree, http://www.pearltrees.com/colinberry1

[Eleanor]

That was very unkind, Colin.  But not worth really worrying about.  It is obvious that you would have accepted the Compensation if you were only worried about the money.  Although perhaps you should have done.  Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Is there any reason for why you can't accept it now?

[John]

Hi again Colin.  Can I ask do you have help with caring for your wife, home helps or other family members possibly?  I ask this because my father in law (97) spent the last year of his life virtually bed bound and had a string of carers attend him daily.  There is help out there for anyone wishing to nurse a family member at home, you only need to ask.

[colinberry1]

Eleanor, John, I paid into the system since I was 15 years old, thank God I never had the need to use it prolifically, I use to go to work with cold's and flues and never thought any more of it, once I was made redundant at Thorn's Brima, Enfield, and had to claim unemployment that is when I started my business in 1984 and never looked back since.

But to answer your question, I would be please to be able to claim some of that money I have contributed all of my working life.

The problem I face is that to get any help I would have to declare my wife a nonperson, in other words I would have to apply through the higher authorities, approach my wives Doctor that is also mine, he has full knowledge of the incident at Costco's, I would have to tell him that I can no longer cope, he would have to approach the hospital and arrange for my wife to see (legally 2 experts) that have the authority to declare that she has no mental capacity.

Then I have to apply to the court to obtain a guardianship order that will permit me to speak on behalf of my wife, so at the same time she belongs to the government she is nothing more than an object in number, they have full control of her she is no longer mine.

I have to apply for permission every given period to be able to do anything for her,

I certainly did not vote for this rubbish that have confronted me. Who on earth have given the government the right to create such laws, I know it is an administration law that can be fought against but for working people that is a no go area.

I strongly believe we have no right to take away somebody's human rights as long as they are alive, especially if they have a spouse who cares tremendously to do all they can.

John, I have no help at all, my elder son would try once a fortnight to come round to relieve me so I can go out and do some shopping for at least two or three weeks provisions, he has a demanding job in the city, so I cannot put a lot of strain on him.

[colinberry1]

That was very unkind, Colin.  But not worth really worrying about.  It is obvious that you would have accepted the Compensation if you were only worried about the money.  Although perhaps you should have done.  Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Is there any reason for why you can't accept it now?

Eleanor, my wife's case is closed, to obtain whatever money they had decided to give her, I would have to obtain a guardianship order, and asked the court could I have control of the money, to be able to have it released and that is not a guarantee, I believe there is a lot of scams when it comes to money held in court funds.

Please take a look at Len's case, http://www.oprus2001.co.uk/pilot.htm  he had the same official Solicitor as my wife in charge of his case, May Maughan, with the assistance of my wives solicitor and a judicial body they have managed to take full control of my wife's human rights and accepted whatever offer they had decided on, and ended the case. We have not had any correspondent from the court, as far as the court is concerned my wife does not exist, all correspondence goes to May Maughan, I believe this person is up to no good, for me to take charge of my wife I would have to apply to the court to obtain a guardianship order after I have 2 experts declaring she has no mental capacity, but May Maughan has manage to have control without any such orders, she is unknown to all of us I am my wives spouse but she overrides all of our human rights, why?

[Eleanor]

Eleanor, my wife's case is closed, to obtain whatever money they had decided to give her, I would have to obtain a guardianship order, and asked the court could I have control of the money, to be able to have it released and that is not a guarantee, I believe there is a lot of scams when it comes to money held in court funds.

Please take a look at Len's case, http://www.oprus2001.co.uk/pilot.htm  he had the same official Solicitor as my wife in charge of his case, May Maughan, with the assistance of my wives solicitor and a judicial body they have managed to take full control of my wife's human rights and accepted whatever offer they had decided on, and ended the case. We have not had any correspondent from the court, as far as the court is concerned my wife does not exist, all correspondence goes to May Maughan, I believe this person is up to no good, for me to take charge of my wife I would have to apply to the court to obtain a guardianship order after I have 2 experts declaring she has no mental capacity, but May Maughan has manage to have control without any such orders, she is unknown to all of us I am my wives spouse but she overrides all of our human rights, why?

It is a fact of this particular situation, Colin.  And you don't want to do any of the things that you might be able to.  But believe me, I do understand why.  Just don't cut off your nose to spite your face.  And I do mean that kindly.

The thing now is, what can you do?

Are you receiving any sort of Care Allowance?  Are you receiving Supplementary Benefits?  Can you afford at least to employ a Cleaner for the house?

None of this is any of my business, so please don't answer if you would rather not.