We were friends so spoke about our lives. Jeremy told me about Maria as she also did work for him. She visited as I did. When she left the CT they paid tribute to her and Tom for all the work they had done for Jeremy. Jeremy was very fond of Tom and his wife so something must have gone terribly wrong for Tom to have deserted him.
Jeremy was most likely fond of the pocket money Tom and his wife were bunging his way. Jeremy isn't capable of attaching to someone through feelings; he regards people as fuel sources. Though he may talk a good talk. Psychopaths are convincing.
So Tom and his wife did a runner it seems. Good for them. I hope they are keeping well and well away from Bamber!
"Psychopaths are prone to interact through manipulation and to use others for their sole benefit, even if this creates pain and devastation for the target. Extending love and care to them will not impact the expression of pathology from the psychopathic partner.
The vast symptoms of this condition include traits such as:
lack of or minimal empathy
callousness
manipulation
pathological lying
charm
a tendency toward boredom
arrogance
blame shifting
dominance
aggression
impulsivity
In companies, individuals with psychopathy can orchestrate the loss of jobs, turn people against each other, or divide a team. Within intimate relationships, they can leave partners and family members struggling with the impact of trauma, betrayal, and abuse, potentially lasting years after they are gone.
Aside from problems such as minimal empathy, antagonism, manipulation, and anger, 6 additional factors that hinder safe relationships with a psychopath:
Minimal capacity to bond.
At the beginning of their intimate relationships, they are typically excited and stimulated by their new partner. This state can easily be mistaken as bonding and deep caring for their mate. However, this tends to be the dopamine-driven stage of romantic love that can feel like addictive attraction. Once that fades, so does their interest. It is often at this point that they display disdain for their partner.
Dysfunctional relationship cycle.
They often demonstrate a predictable cyclical style of intimate relationships that are common for those with cluster B personality disorders. They idealize, devalue, and then discard their partners, with no concern for the pain they leave behind. Given that they never had a bond with their mate in the first place, walking away from the relationship causes them little to no discomfort. Many are happy to move along to the next target, particularly if they left their former mate in the "loser" position.
Inability to offer a genuine apology.
Psychopathy is a disorder that hampers the ability to feel guilt and remorse. Due to faulty brain functions, there is a tendency to engage in immoral behavior. When they hurt someone or cause damage, they usually will not offer an apology. If what appears to be an apology is offered, it is rarely beyond words and tends to include an element of distancing and minimizing (“I made a mistake”). The feelings of guilt and remorse are missing because these emotional states are not within their capacity. Therefore, the typical contrition that would naturally follow when one has caused harm to another will be absent. Their stance is typically, "Move on," "Let it go," "You're too sensitive," or, "Why are you still talking about that—it's in the past!"
Presence of high narcissism.
For those with primary psychopathy, it is in their nature to have an incredibly inflated, grandiose sense of self. They do not need or care about the approval of others. Any desire they have for control or worship is associated with feelings of superiority, not insecurity. Unfortunately, for the individual with psychopathy, there tends to be no genuine interest in friendships.
Everyone is assigned a role and has a use: "You're my object." They have a strong need for power and control and often place others in the role of "loser," even those who demonstrate loyalty, trust and love toward them. Psychopathic individuals usually have a "use" for those they keep close. They consider some people puppets, who will defend them, agree with them, or sacrifice their reputation to protect them. It is often their preference to have numerous puppets. For many with psychopathy, this role is also assigned to their intimate partner. Read more here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neurosagacity/201506/6-obstacles-relationship-psychopath
