Parenting.

[G-Unit]

Once again the subject of children not being properly prepared for school is in the news. The reasons seem to vary and include lazy unemployed parents who can't be bothered, middle-class working parents who have no time and others who are waiting for the child to be 'ready'.

It's not the easiest of jobs and it takes time, consistency and patience. On the other hand, it's a recent problem, and who is suffering? Schools are finding it difficult because, frankly. it's not what they're there for.. I don't suppose the children are too happy either. Standing out from the crowd isn't good.

In a robust intervention attacking the increasing burdens placed on teachers, Ofsted chief Amanda Spielman will say schools “cannot be a panacea” for all social ills and will criticise some parents for neglecting some of the “most basic of parenting tasks”, such as toilet training.
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/dec/02/schools-parents-ofsted-knife-crime-obesity

Primary school children 'sent to school wearing nappies'
some parents on low incomes were not taking care of their child
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44068217

According to the latest report from the Lecturers and Teachers Association, the average age at which children are toilet trained has increased to three-and-a-half years old.

Fifty years ago the average was just 15 months.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3908329/potty-training-crisis-sweeps-uk-as-70-of-schools-say-kids-are-starting-in-nappies-with-some-as-old-as-nine-still-in-them/

Some parents have made it a low priority because they are too busy, while others have a more relaxed attitude and are happy to "wait until the child is ready", according to teachers.

Margaret Morrissey, of the family lobby group Parents Outloud, said: "The fact is that we are changing our society and the nature of child rearing is changing because of it. If we insist that mothers go out to work when their children are still young - out of the house by 7.30am, dropping off a baby at nursery, then the two kids at school, working a full day and getting back at 6pm - things are going to give.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/primaryeducation/5956231/Pupils-start-school-still-in-nappies.html

[Holly Goodhead]

I disagree with Margaret Morrisey.  And who is "insisting" mothers go out to work? 

Time is a commodity like any other and adults need to decide how they spend it.  I don't think it has anything to do with class or economic status.  24 hours in a day.  Most need a least 6 - 8 hours sleep lets say 7.  Those working full-time can write off 8 hours including a commute.  Leaving say 9 hours a day in which to carry out necessary chores, family time, social and leisure. 

Most homes have many labour saving devices unavailable to older generations:

- At least one car to run errards/shopping etc
- Washing machine and tumble dryer
- Dishwasher
- Fridge/freezer
- Convenience food
- Microwave
- Steam iron
- Powerful vacuum cleaner
- Central heating ie no coal/hearths to clean
- A variety of other labour saving gadgets

Although today many mothers choose to work full or part-time most have access to the above which previous generations didn't.  Also today most men are very hands on with their children and help out around the house which wasn't always the case for previous generations. 

Imo a lot of people have the wrong attitude.  They expect everything to come easy and feel entitled to spend copious amounts of time watching the teli and/or on social media/online and/or chillin on the sofa piggin out on junk food to the detriment of their children and health.  You makes your choices....

Same as obesity crisis.  It's simple input (calories/food) and output (kilo joules/physical activity).  Eat junk and don't take any exercise expect to pile it on whilst at the same time putting a huge strain on the NHS from all the obesity related conditions.   

[Myster]

Same as obesity crisis.  It's simple input (calories/food) and output (kilo joules/physical activity).  Eat junk and don't take any exercise expect to pile it on whilst at the same time putting a huge strain on the NHS from all the obesity related conditions.

This has put me in the mood for some juicy rump steak.  Wonder if they can cook?...  Drool !!!

[Angelo222]

Once again the subject of children not being properly prepared for school is in the news. The reasons seem to vary and include lazy unemployed parents who can't be bothered, middle-class working parents who have no time and others who are waiting for the child to be 'ready'.

It's not the easiest of jobs and it takes time, consistency and patience. On the other hand, it's a recent problem, and who is suffering? Schools are finding it difficult because, frankly. it's not what they're there for.. I don't suppose the children are too happy either. Standing out from the crowd isn't good.

In a robust intervention attacking the increasing burdens placed on teachers, Ofsted chief Amanda Spielman will say schools “cannot be a panacea” for all social ills and will criticise some parents for neglecting some of the “most basic of parenting tasks”, such as toilet training.
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/dec/02/schools-parents-ofsted-knife-crime-obesity

Primary school children 'sent to school wearing nappies'
some parents on low incomes were not taking care of their child
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44068217

According to the latest report from the Lecturers and Teachers Association, the average age at which children are toilet trained has increased to three-and-a-half years old.

Fifty years ago the average was just 15 months.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3908329/potty-training-crisis-sweeps-uk-as-70-of-schools-say-kids-are-starting-in-nappies-with-some-as-old-as-nine-still-in-them/

Some parents have made it a low priority because they are too busy, while others have a more relaxed attitude and are happy to "wait until the child is ready", according to teachers.

Margaret Morrissey, of the family lobby group Parents Outloud, said: "The fact is that we are changing our society and the nature of child rearing is changing because of it. If we insist that mothers go out to work when their children are still young - out of the house by 7.30am, dropping off a baby at nursery, then the two kids at school, working a full day and getting back at 6pm - things are going to give.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/primaryeducation/5956231/Pupils-start-school-still-in-nappies.html

The family unit has been deteoriating for decades.  We dump our old folks in nursing homes for the state to look after and we allow our offspring to wander the streets. It's all me me me these days, something for nothing, a quick buck and to hell with the hereinafter.

[Alf]

And on the other other hand we have this

https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/

For some, parents can’t do right for doing wrong. 

[Sunny]

And on the other other hand we have this

https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/

For some, parents can’t do right for doing wrong.

Any sensible person would agree that helicopter parenting is wrong as it stifles the development of a child.    Leaving children alone night after night is also wrong.    You probably are aware that there is a middle ground, most parents muddle through perfectly well without going to either of these extremes.

[Alf]

Any sensible person would agree that helicopter parenting is wrong as it stifles the development of a child.    Leaving children alone night after night is also wrong.    You probably are aware that there is a middle ground, most parents muddle through perfectly well without going to either of these extremes.

I agree which is why I posted it, but the media does like to highlight the negative, make out that parents these days don’t know how to parent, as the various articles in this thread show.  I’m not really very sure what point the OP was trying to make with this thread? 

[Sunny]

I agree which is why I posted it, but the media does like to highlight the negative, make out that parents these days don’t know how to parent, as the various articles in this thread show.  I’m not really very sure what point the OP was trying to make with this thread?

I think you would have to ask them that.  Of course I am aware that the OP has been given the tag "perfect parent" on here so that may be something to do with it.

[G-Unit]

I think you would have to ask them that.  Of course I am aware that the OP has been given the tag "perfect parent" on here so that may be something to do with it.

I just couldn't believe that anyone thought it was OK for teachers to be dealing with children wearing nappies.

[Sunny]

I just couldn't believe that anyone thought it was OK for teachers to be dealing with children wearing nappies.

I did think the same. Why on earth wouldn't a parent potty train their child by 4 years old?  Madness.

[Alf]

Some mothers still breastfeed their 5 year olds.  I believe alot of it is about a misguided belief that the kid should be allowed to do whatever it wants, never saying no to it in case it is somehow damaged by the parent’s authority.  In other words parents striving to do the best for their kids with u intentional negative consequences.  But I don’t think it’s a widespread problem, exactly.   In the old days kids (and I mean post nursery age) were often pooing and weeing themselves in class, that doesn’t seem to happen so much now.  Anecdotal evidence only, no statistics before you ask... 

[Sunny]

Some mothers still breastfeed their 5 year olds.  I believe alot of it is about a misguided belief that the kid should be allowed to do whatever it wants, never saying no to it in case it is somehow damaged by the parent’s authority.  In other words parents striving to do the best for their kids with u intentional negative consequences.  But I don’t think it’s a widespread problem, exactly.   In the old days kids (and I mean post nursery age) were often pooing and weeing themselves in class, that doesn’t seem to happen so much now.  Anecdotal evidence only, no statistics before you ask... 

I remember a boy in my reception class having an "accident" in class once so not "often" in my experience.  I also believe that this would still happen occasionally now. Children haven't changed even if some parents are not capable of adequate parenting it would seem.

[Alf]

I remember a boy in my reception class having an "accident" in class once so not "often" in my experience.  I also believe that this would still happen occasionally now. Children haven't changed even if some parents are not capable of adequate parenting it would seem.

There have always been inadequate parents too, perhaps you should only be allowed kids if you score over 95% on the Perfect Parent test and are granted a licence.

[Sunny]

There have always been inadequate parents too, perhaps you should only be allowed kids if you score over 95% on the Perfect Parent test and are granted a licence.

Unfortunately that test doesn't exist. 

[Holly Goodhead]

Unfortunately that test doesn't exist. 

But should it?! 

Listening to Radio 4 this morning it seems many baby banks are now springing up which work along the same lines as food banks. 

In the following article Bianca, mum of 2, says she feels embarrassed by having to use such a facility and yet she is pregnant with her third child.  I don't wish to sound horribly judgmental or a right wing zealot but why would you want to bring a third child into the world if you're relying on charity to support your existing two?

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/thousands-desperate-parents-relying-baby-13489511