Jeremy Bamber's real parents and siblings

[Tim Invictus]

When you really sit down and think what happened in that house on that morning, it must have been terrible. The screams and gunshots, all the panic and fear. Neville took one hell of a beating, poor bloke. The twins executed while sleeping, warm in their beds.

June finished off with a shot between the eyes, and sheila blamed for the lot of it.

Absolutely Andy .... Sheila would never have done the murders even if she could of ... which she couldn't!

[abs]

Ideally, poor little Sheila should have been taken away from June when she clearly couldn't cope with being an adoptive parent; and the Bambers should not have been allowed to adopt another child.
I feel bad for June, because she must have been suffering, but the well being of children always must come first.
Jeremy's parents married about a year after they had him. In a perfect world, he would have been in foster care until his biological parents´situation was stable and they could claim him back where he belonged.
Growing up, did Jeremy know that his Bio parents had married and had children - his siblings? If he did, he must have felt ousted and discarded - and it might have build up a rage in him.
I am not trying to excuse anything (IF he did it), because it cannot be excused, just speculating what might have been.

Strangely, I know a man who has a very similar history as Jeremy. He was born in Denmark, but his mother was English. She was a young girl, and was sent to Denmark by her upper class parents to give birth and to give away the child for adoption. She later married the not so upper class father of her child, they had three more children.
When this man I know was 27, he saw an ad in a newspaper, an English couple were searching for their son, born this and this date and year - it was him. He does have contact with his biological parents now, visits them frequently, and is not angry, but I do think it gnaws at him being the odd man out.

[Angelo222]

Ideally, poor little Sheila should have been taken away from June when she clearly couldn't cope with being an adoptive parent; and the Bambers should not have been allowed to adopt another child.
I feel bad for June, because she must have been suffering, but the well being of children always must come first.
Jeremy's parents married about a year after they had him. In a perfect world, he would have been in foster care until his biological parents´situation was stable and they could claim him back where he belonged.
Growing up, did Jeremy know that his Bio parents had married and had children - his siblings? If he did, he must have felt ousted and discarded - and it might have build up a rage in him.
I am not trying to excuse anything (IF he did it), because it cannot be excused, just speculating what might have been.

Strangely, I know a man who has a very similar history as Jeremy. He was born in Denmark, but his mother was English. She was a young girl, and was sent to Denmark by her upper class parents to give birth and to give away the child for adoption. She later married the not so upper class father of her child, they had three more children.
When this man I know was 27, he saw an ad in a newspaper, an English couple were searching for their son, born this and this date and year - it was him. He does have contact with his biological parents now, visits them frequently, and is not angry, but I do think it gnaws at him being the odd man out.

Hi abs and how are you ?

I can see what you are getting at to some extent and can see why Jeremy could have been resenful of his biological parents and his other two siblings born after he had been effectively discarded.

The thing is though, most adopted children grow upto love and accept their adoptive parents as if they were their natural ones.  Could it be that Jeremy was told the truth at too young an age and that turned him into the sad bitter person he ultimately became and which manifested itself in him finally committing murder?

[abs]

Nobody knows - Jeremy doesn´t say too much other than positive things about his adoptive family. He is the only one who truly knows, and we don´t know how truthful he is. Maybe he is just shallow and didn´t take things in as deeply as Sheila, maybe he was treated better than her, OR maybe he is deeply damaged.
About adopted children growing up being just fine. Most do, but most don´t live in deeply dysfunctional families. I doubt that the Bambers would have gotten a green light to adopt in this day and age.

[Dillon]

I strongly feel that the ill informed pseudo psychological theorising by ABS about the Bamber family cannot be left unchallenged. My wife as one of this large, hardworking extended family of Essex farmers knew June and Nevill very well. She describes them as lovely, kind and generous people. June was warm and caring. She did lack confidence and had a hard time bringing up Sheila who apparently had tremendous tantrums as a toddler, for example in shops. Any parent will understand how hard it can be at times to cope with young children. Both Sheila and Jeremy had an idyllic early childhood on the farm and she describes Jeremy certainly up to the age of 8 as being a normal lively little boy. At 7 he was growing and selling his own sweet corn for example. However, and this is speculative, things may have started to go wrong when he was sent away to a boarding prep school at 8. He would have been ill prepared for that tough environment having previously attended a nice little local day, Maldon Court. At that time these schools sometimes attracted staff with unusual proclivities and I have heard that Jeremy might have been sexually assaulted at the age of 11. I have also heard that he may have been bullied at his boarding public school, Greshams, which he attended from age 13. He confided in a "friend" that he was adopted and acquired the nickname of  The b......... All very emotionally traumatic and possibbly part of the picture which has lead to his being incarcerated for life for these terrible brutal murders. I do think that it is inappropriate for ABS, a lady from Denmark I beleive, to make these grossly insulting remarks about the Bamber family being dysfunctional.  ABS has no informed insight into the dynamics and nature of the family and would be well advised to avoid commenting from the standpoint of ignorance.     

[Andrea]

We are entitled to out opinions Dillon, agree with them or not.

Abs is a very welcome poster on this forum.

[John]

Thank you for taking the time to contribute to the forum Dillon. 

First off guys, let me say that Dillon is a new poster and does not have any axe to grind with anyone.  Maybe abs has used the wrong word when she refers to the family as a whole as dysfunctional. From my own perspective I would not refer to them as that at all.  June for instance may have has mental health problems, she may have been a religious zealot and been strict in her moral values but there is nothing anywhere which says she was a bad person. Sheila was a difficult girl and was probably spoilt by Nevill which became a problem in her adolescence and later years with illicit sex and unwanted pregnancies. Jeremy told Julie Mugford that Sheila had done something terrible to him, so terrible that he couldn't bring himself to tell her.  One wonders if this contempt he felt for Sheila came to the surface on the morning of the 7 August 1985? 

All in all, the family may have had their problems but to classify them all as dysfunctional is inaccurate and wrong. 

[Dillon]

Thank you John. I do not want to engage in a long debate as I think that the wise and I am sure very thorough decision processing of the CCRC in arriving at their final decision should put this case to bed now. I would like to comment that in general this forum has done a very good job in accurately analysing the case and in particular the sheer impossibility that Sheila could have been the perpetrator. That means that Jeremy must be guilty. It is very sad that a man who could have had a successful and fulfilled life should be condemned to die in prison. Maybe if those concerned in trying to help Jeremy could persuade him to have the courage to face up his guilt then there might be some chance of rehabilitation at some time in the future. But there would need to be very great reassurance that he would not endanger those he blames for his conviction. Over the years he has demonstrated his vengeful nature towards the family, Police etc in all sorts of ways.

[Andrea]

Bamber and co are clutching at straws now. Lets face it, he has all the time in the world to challenge his conviction. Bamber will die in prison and rightly so, 2 women and children were among the victims.

[amazon]

Well, that's the downside of a whole life tariff. Someone in Jeremy Bamber's position has absolutely nothing to lose. Also, he wouldn't get the attention he does if he didn't continue his crusade, and his army of supporters undoubtedly make his sentence more bearable

[John]

Just to remind everyone and especially our new members that Jeremy actually has a full blood brother and sister.

[abs]

Jeremy´s family should reach out to him - no matter what. Wouldn´t you? His dad sounds like a s..mbag in my opinion.

[Angelo222]

Jeremy´s family should reach out to him - no matter what. Wouldn´t you? His dad sounds like a s..mbag in my opinion.

Why would they want to do that abs given what he did?  His real father made his thoughts on this abundantly clear after the trial when he referred to him as a psychopath. I remember his also saying that Jeremy was given every opportunity in life whwn he was adopted by such a nice family.  He said that Jeremy had abused them!

[abs]

Jeremy´s family should reach out to him - no matter what. Wouldn´t you? His dad sounds like a s..mbag in my opinion.

Why would they want to do that abs given what he did?  His real father made his thoughts on this abundantly clear after the trial when he referred to him as a psychopath. I remember his also saying that Jeremy was given every opportunity in life whwn he was adopted by such a nice family.  He said that Jeremy had abused them!

Guess I just don´t understand people who turn their backs on family, no matter the circumstances.

[Angelo222]

Jeremy´s family should reach out to him - no matter what. Wouldn´t you? His dad sounds like a s..mbag in my opinion.

Why would they want to do that abs given what he did?  His real father made his thoughts on this abundantly clear after the trial when he referred to him as a psychopath. I remember his also saying that Jeremy was given every opportunity in life whwn he was adopted by such a nice family.  He said that Jeremy had abused them!

Guess I just don´t understand people who turn their backs on family, no matter the circumstances.

Some things in life are simply unforgivable abs.