Is the apportioning of blame a coping mechanism?

[slartibartfast]

Maybe Slarti thinks that Kate believes that in other people's eyes there hadn't failed to keep her safe?  Otherwise, god knows!

That is the implication of the sentence as stands.

[Alfred R Jones]

That is the implication of the sentence as stands.

Perhaps you can explain why it matters then?  If IN THEIR OWN EYES they are guilty, why is that not enough for you?

[ShiningInLuz]

The McCanns are not entirely to blame for Madeleine's disappearance so why do you expect them to state that they are?

As it happens, I am of the opinion that the most likely explanation is that the event would have occurred even if the patio door was locked.

However, the search thereafter is influenced by perception, both professional and public, of the action of the McCanns.

Optimising the chance for finding Madeleine depends on optimising that perception.  If I had been one of the McCann parents, I would have taken the hit.  I would have come out with a clear and unequivocal statement that I f****d up.  It is a mea culpa moment.

Do you have such an example?  I'm still working with - well I shouldn't have done it but someone else is worse.  Two wrongs.

[Alfred R Jones]

As it happens, I am of the opinion that the most likely explanation is that the event would have occurred even if the patio door was locked.

However, the search thereafter is influenced by perception, both professional and public, of the action of the McCanns.

Optimising the chance for finding Madeleine depends on optimising that perception.  If I had been one of the McCann parents, I would have taken the hit.  I would have come out with a clear and unequivocal statement that I f****d up.  It is a mea culpa moment.

Do you have such an example?  I'm still working with - well I shouldn't have done it but someone else is worse.  Two wrongs.

So basically you think they should have said "We believe Madeleine was taken by a stranger and frankly it's entirely our fault that she was"?  How utterly absurd.  How about focusing on the person who took her, and putting some guilt onto their shoulders?  What's an abductor to think when he reads it was all the victim's parents fault anyway?   doesn't that rather let him off the hook and make him feel great about himself?  C'mon, be reasonable!

[Alfred R Jones]

As it happens, I am of the opinion that the most likely explanation is that the event would have occurred even if the patio door was locked.

However, the search thereafter is influenced by perception, both professional and public, of the action of the McCanns.

Optimising the chance for finding Madeleine depends on optimising that perception.  If I had been one of the McCann parents, I would have taken the hit.  I would have come out with a clear and unequivocal statement that I f****d up.  It is a mea culpa moment.

Do you have such an example?  I'm still working with - well I shouldn't have done it but someone else is worse.  Two wrongs.

RE: this bit - are you meaning "I shouldn't have left my kids alone for up to 30 minutes at a time, but an abductor is worse for taking one of them" - er, well isn't that true, or do you see both events as equally as bad as each other?

[Mr Gray]

As it happens, I am of the opinion that the most likely explanation is that the event would have occurred even if the patio door was locked.

However, the search thereafter is influenced by perception, both professional and public, of the action of the McCanns.

Optimising the chance for finding Madeleine depends on optimising that perception.  If I had been one of the McCann parents, I would have taken the hit.  I would have come out with a clear and unequivocal statement that I f****d up.  It is a mea culpa moment.

Do you have such an example?  I'm still working with - well I shouldn't have done it but someone else is worse.  Two wrongs.

I would say you do not know how you would react in that situation...personally I don't think the mccanns did f**k up..

[stephen25000]

I would say you do not know how you would react in that situation...personally I don't think the mccanns did f**k up..

Of course you wouldn't say anything else.

[Eleanor]

I would say you do not know how you would react in that situation...personally I don't think the mccanns did f**k up..

Nor do I.  They simply didn't see it coming, and nor would I have done.  And they weren't prosecuted in Portugal because there was No Intent to neglect or cause harm.

[ShiningInLuz]

So basically you think they should have said "We believe Madeleine was taken by a stranger and frankly it's entirely our fault that she was"?  How utterly absurd.  How about focusing on the person who took her, and putting some guilt onto their shoulders?  What's an abductor to think when he reads it was all the victim's parents fault anyway?   doesn't that rather let him off the hook and make him feel great about himself?  C'mon, be reasonable!

I said two wrongs and I meant two wrongs.

Your debating tactic needs an overhaul.  Repeatedly going to 100% extremes - it's all our fault (I never said that, in fact what I said was I happen to think this would have occurred even if they had not left the patio door open) - followed by an emotional aside with no basis in truth - how utterly absurd - is cumbersome to put it mildly.

Be reasonable?  WHAT?  I say it most probably would have happened if the patio doors were locked and you ask me to be reasonable?  Honestly?

[Alfred R Jones]

I said two wrongs and I meant two wrongs.

Your debating tactic needs an overhaul.  Repeatedly going to 100% extremes - it's all our fault (I never said that, in fact what I said was I happen to think this would have occurred even if they had not left the patio door open) - followed by an emotional aside with no basis in truth - how utterly absurd - is cumbersome to put it mildly.

Be reasonable?  WHAT?  I say it most probably would have happened if the patio doors were locked and you ask me to be reasonable?  Honestly?

What did you mean by "the parents should have taken the hit" then?  You've already criticised them for giving only a qualified admittance of guilt, but why should they not qualify their admission, as they are not wholly to blame?  If you don't like my debate tactics then don't engage.

[Mr Gray]

I said two wrongs and I meant two wrongs.

Your debating tactic needs an overhaul.  Repeatedly going to 100% extremes - it's all our fault (I never said that, in fact what I said was I happen to think this would have occurred even if they had not left the patio door open) - followed by an emotional aside with no basis in truth - how utterly absurd - is cumbersome to put it mildly.

Be reasonable?  WHAT?  I say it most probably would have happened if the patio doors were locked and you ask me to be reasonable?  Honestly?

I am certain the mccanns would have been advised not to blame themselves for what happened...it would serve no purpose except to push them into an ever deepening depression

[Alfred R Jones]

I am certain the mccanns would have been advised not to blame themselves for what happened...it would serve no purpose except to push them into an ever deepening depression

and to publicly blame themselves would have only helped an abductor to feel that he was not really at fault.

[stephen25000]

and to publicly blame themselves would have only helped an abductor to feel that he was not really at fault.

Ah, the abductor mantra yet again.

Very boring Alfred.

[ShiningInLuz]

What did you mean by "the parents should have taken the hit" then?  You've already criticised them for giving only a qualified admittance of guilt, but why should they not qualify their admission, as they are not wholly to blame?  If you don't like my debate tactics then don't engage.

This is precisely what I find cumbersome about your debating tactics.

"What did you mean by "the parents should have taken the hit" then?"  You said this, while I didn't.  What I said was I would have taken the hit. 

The McCanns didn't then and haven't since, unless you have clear example.  In the absence of a clear example, what stands is qualified examples, and if my child or grandchild had been stolen, trust me, I would seek clarity.

Please don't repeat the 'they are not wholly to blame angle'.  I said that in my original post, as is clear for all to see.

[Mr Gray]

This is precisely what I find cumbersome about your debating tactics.

"What did you mean by "the parents should have taken the hit" then?"  You said this, while I didn't.  What I said was I would have taken the hit. 

The McCanns didn't then and haven't since, unless you have clear example.  In the absence of a clear example, what stands is qualified examples, and if my child or grandchild had been stolen, trust me, I would seek clarity.

Please don't repeat the 'they are not wholly to blame angle'.  I said that in my original post, as is clear for all to see.

clarity is exactly what the mccanns are seeking