Is the apportioning of blame a coping mechanism?

[Alfred R Jones]

That is not what is happening or has been said is it?

Have you read Stephen's signature line?  Multiply that sentiment by x number of "sceptics" and yes, that has been said and is what is happening.  Then you have those like Shining in Luz who believes the McCanns should perform a public Mea Culpa shouldering the responsibility for Madeleine's disappearance, without reference to any mitigating circumstances or qualifications.  Now do you understand?

[Miss Taken Identity]

back on topic...

apportioning blame is someone trying to get off the hook, a chancer, liar, frauster not to be trusted. There is nothing wrong with owning up to mistakes/bad judgements etc. In deed it is honerable, something those parents are not.IMO

There are signs that something was not right.
1. Gerry asking DP to go check Kate and the kids? Why?
2. Maddie  making it clear to her parents she was afraid> waking up crying looking for them and no one was there.
3. Gerry looking at his beautiful daughter sleeping but sensing someone was in the apartment- but he  just walks out and left the children anyway. I mean..wow

[Alice Purjorick]

Have you read Stephen's signature line?  Multiply that sentiment by x number of "sceptics" and yes, that has been said and is what is happening.  Then you have those like Shining in Luz who believes the McCanns should perform a public Mea Culpa shouldering the responsibility for Madeleine's disappearance, without reference to any mitigating circumstances or qualifications.  Now do you understand?

You said:
"If I were the abductor of Madeleine McCann reading about how it is her parents to blame for "facilitating" my crime, I would feel completely let off the hook".
You seem to have pounced on the word "facilitate", when G-Unit or Faithlilly or whoever used it, like a chicken on a June bug.
So let's rewrite your sentence substituting a synonym for facilitate.
"If I were the abductor of Madeleine McCann reading about how it is her parents to blame for making my crime easier, I would feel completely let off the hook".
Why? that is like weird man. They made it easier for you to commit the crime but you remain responsible for its commission.
It could be of course you didn't understand what facilitate means.
In response to the emboldened bit:
As for reading Stephens signature and something by Luz then multiplying it by the number sceptics to go past? What is that about? I presume you are just deflecting.

[Mr Gray]

so to get back on track we can be fairly certain Kate was advised by professional help not to blame herself. Anyone who understands psychology would understand this

[Alfred R Jones]

You said:
"If I were the abductor of Madeleine McCann reading about how it is her parents to blame for "facilitating" my crime, I would feel completely let off the hook".
You seem to have pounced on the word "facilitate", when G-Unit or Faithlilly or whoever used it, like a chicken on a June bug.
So let's rewrite your sentence substituting a synonym for facilitate.
"If I were the abductor of Madeleine McCann reading about how it is her parents to blame for making my crime easier, I would feel completely let off the hook".
Why? that is like weird man. They made it easier for you to commit the crime but you remain responsible for its commission.
It could be of course you didn't understand what facilitate means.
In response to the emboldened bit:
As for reading Stephens signature and something by Luz then multiplying it by the number sceptics to go past? What is that about? I presume you are just deflecting.

OK, you think it's weird, I think it's weird that you think it's weird.  My view remains the same - if I committed the crime but all around me were saying it was the fault of the victims for allowing me to commit the crime then I would feel let off the hook.  You disagree (as you usually do with most views I express) - I can live with that.

[stephen25000]

so to get back on track we can be fairly certain Kate was advised by professional help not to blame herself. Anyone who understands psychology would understand this

Being back on track means gerry and kate mccann being accountable for their actions.

They are to blame.

[G-Unit]

so to get back on track we can be fairly certain Kate was advised by professional help not to blame herself. Anyone who understands psychology would understand this

We don't know that, it's just a guess. As far as I know they didn't see a psychologist?

However. Any parent losing a child in any circumstances whatsoever would be overcome with guilt, it's perfectly natural. What it isn't is helpful. Dwelling on what was done or not done won't change anything, so I would imagine the focus of the counsellor was on trying to help the parents to understand this, to move on, and to focus on what could be done in the future. Hence their repeated statements about the abductor being the criminal, not them.

If there was an abduction that makes perfect sense. An abduction is a criminal offence. Leaving children unattended is careless and stupid, but not necessarily criminal.

[Eleanor]

Everyone minimises their own involvement in a Blame Situation.  It's a human condition.  And most of us don't even realise what we are doing.  There isn't a human being alive who hasn't at sometime blamed someone else for their own inadequacies.  Hence, "Only those without blame should cast the first stone."   Someone said that a very long time ago. There is no one without blame.  Think on that before you all rush to cast the first stone.

[Alice Purjorick]

OK, you think it's weird, I think it's weird that you think it's weird.  My view remains the same - if I committed the crime but all around me were saying it was the fault of the victims for allowing me to commit the crime then I would feel let off the hook.  You disagree (as you usually do with most views I express) - I can live with that.

So you are back again with an erroneous statement to support your argument.

[Alfred R Jones]

So you are back again with an erroneous statement to support your argument.

There is no error in my statement.

[Alice Purjorick]

There is no error in my statement. 

I am curious to know why if you had committed a crime you would place more credence on what a bunch of superannuated internet chatterboxes thought rather than the cops?
Me? I'd worry about the cops.

[Mr Gray]

We don't know that, it's just a guess. As far as I know they didn't see a psychologist?

However. Any parent losing a child in any circumstances whatsoever would be overcome with guilt, it's perfectly natural. What it isn't is helpful. Dwelling on what was done or not done won't change anything, so I would imagine the focus of the counsellor was on trying to help the parents to understand this, to move on, and to focus on what could be done in the future. Hence their repeated statements about the abductor being the criminal, not them.

If there was an abduction that makes perfect sense. An abduction is a criminal offence. Leaving children unattended is careless and stupid, but not necessarily criminal.

we know that with Kate's own medical training she would understand simple principles such as not blaming yourself when you are the victim act and the importance of trying to carry on life as normal as possible

[Brietta]

I am curious to know why if you had committed a crime you would place more credence on what a bunch of superannuated internet chatterboxes thought rather than the cops?
Me? I'd worry about the cops.

Until recently there was no requirement for the criminal/s involved in Madeleine McCann's abduction to worry about the cops.

None were looking.

It is only down to the efforts of Madeleine's parents that we are where we are today.  I think that may be a pretty powerful cathartic coping mechanism.

[Brietta]

we know that with Kate's own medical training she would understand simple principles such as not blaming yourself when you are the victim act and the importance of trying to carry on life as normal as possible

They had to get a grip.  They had the twins to consider as well as the search for Madeleine.  If they had continued their distress and trauma into total meltdown ... how would that have helped?

[Alice Purjorick]

Until recently there was no requirement for the criminal/s involved in Madeleine McCann's abduction to worry about the cops.

None were looking.

It is only down to the efforts of Madeleine's parents that we are where we are today.  I think that may be a pretty powerful cathartic coping mechanism.

That doesn't really address the subject matter now does it?
So regardless of what the cops are doing you share Alf's view that, having committed a crime, one should feel one is home free because of the opinions of a few internet gossips rather than the law?
Chacun a son gout as they say in the better parts of Hackney.