Holy crap, looks like Shining is on to something...
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/CalpolCriminalisation of Calpol[edit]
It was Boudicca who first launched a War on Calpol on 1887, followed by other Prime Ministers Thomas the Tank Engine, Chucky from Rugrats and Gary Neville Chamberlain. Current PM David Cameron has vowed to sort out the ever growing scourge of housing estates being overrun with 3 year old calpol addicts ruining the lives of innocent working people. However, it is thought he too has a major calpol problem ever since he had a fried bottle of Calpol when his local chippy in Glasgow ran out of Mars Bars, although it is believed he has received a few slippery backhanders from Calpol Mafia Ltd, the cartel running the calpol racket to make sure they keep their grubby mitts on the lucrative trade.
Sinister use of Calpol by politicians[edit]
As a result, Calpol is often thought as a state sponsored instrument of repression, used with the blessing of the powers that be to sabotage popular movements that undermine the ruling class. The most infamous use of Calpol was during the Miners Strike in 1985 when Margaret Thatcher allowed the Calpol Mafia Ltd. to work with MI5 to poison the miners. Arthur Scargill had his grog spiked with calpol which led to him having a bad trip during the Battle of Orgreave where he streaked in front of the police with The magenta grass is plotting to kill me with a combine harvester tattooed on his arse. He was later arrested when he was later caught copulating with a police horse.
Calpol has also been linked to the poisoning of the 1981 Eurovision Song Contest judging panel which allowed Cheryl Baker to rig the votes in favour of Bucks Fizz. This was cited as a critical moment in the build up to the 1982 Falkland's War as Argentinian General Leopoldo Galtieri had £400 on the German entry Lena Valaitis who came second. Had he won (the dosh that is), he still would have flashing eyes and hair that twirls. That is because you can buy it at some jokeshop in Massachusettes.