Was Sheila and Jeremy's adoption an issue?

[Eleanor]

Jesus, what a family.  June was a religious nutter and Neville doesn't seem to have been much better, but they were allowed to adopt two children who according to this both turned into nutters not surprisingly, if indeed Jeremy did actually commit the murders.

I am horrified reading this.

[Holly Goodhead]

Jesus, what a family.  June was a religious nutter and Neville doesn't seem to have been much better, but they were allowed to adopt two children who according to this both turned into nutters not surprisingly, if indeed Jeremy did actually commit the murders.

I am horrified reading this.

 . I expect you're missing me over the way!

Couldn't agree more.  Interestingly the lives of SC's 3 x half siblings on the maternal side and JB's 2 x full siblings could not be more different.

From SC's birth mother's late husband:

What is the purpose of one's life? Hopefully to make the world a little bit better, help people, protect wild animals and their environment, and most importantly, find a loving life partner and create a caring and loving home for your children.

https://pier21.ca/content/the-history-of-the-sykoras-in-the-former-czechoslovakia-czechoslovak-immigrant

https://www.thechronicleherald.ca/obituaries/dr-oskar-paul-sykora-9340/

[Caroline]

. I expect you're missing me over the way!

Couldn't agree more.  Interestingly the lives of SC's 3 x half siblings on the maternal side and JB's 2 x full siblings could not be more different.

From SC's birth mother's late husband:

What is the purpose of one's life? Hopefully to make the world a little bit better, help people, protect wild animals and their environment, and most importantly, find a loving life partner and create a caring and loving home for your children.

https://pier21.ca/content/the-history-of-the-sykoras-in-the-former-czechoslovakia-czechoslovak-immigrant

https://www.thechronicleherald.ca/obituaries/dr-oskar-paul-sykora-9340/

We have several adoptees here - how different were N&J as far as your own experiences go? What preparation did parents receive before having a baby handed to them? Someone having a biological child, have time to prepare both practically and emotionally - it sounds to me like they were left to get on with it. I imagine they did their best and certainly didn't deserve to die in such horrendous circumstances just because they adopted two kids.

[G-Unit]

Jesus, what a family.  June was a religious nutter and Neville doesn't seem to have been much better, but they were allowed to adopt two children who according to this both turned into nutters not surprisingly, if indeed Jeremy did actually commit the murders.

I am horrified reading this.

It was indeed a situation which fulfilled the parent's needs rather than those of the children.

Normally an Adoption Society choose who will be offered a child for adoption, but in Sheila's case it was her natural grandfather who decided that she should go to the Bambers. Apparently he knew Nevill Bamber from their service with the RAF. [CAL p22]. That was highly unusual and has never been explained, but it happened regardless of June's mental instability. A few months after the adoption June had another breakdown and was given electroshock therapy as an in-patient. Sheila was, therefore, shuffled around quite a bit. A spell with her natural mother, then a couple of months in a children's home, then being cared for by family members and a nanny. There was little chance imo that she and June were able to bond during all that.

[Eleanor]

It was indeed a situation which fulfilled the parent's needs rather than those of the children.

Normally an Adoption Society choose who will be offered a child for adoption, but in Sheila's case it was her natural grandfather who decided that she should go to the Bambers. Apparently he knew Nevill Bamber from their service with the RAF. [CAL p22]. That was highly unusual and has never been explained, but it happened regardless of June's mental instability. A few months after the adoption June had another breakdown and was given electroshock therapy as an in-patient. Sheila was, therefore, shuffled around quite a bit. A spell with her natural mother, then a couple of months in a children's home, then being cared for by family members and a nanny. There was little chance imo that she and June were able to bond during all that.

Unable to bond?  Ha!  It seems to me that they bonded only too well.  And Jeremy was there when all of this was going on?  Who looked after him?

This is getting more disturbing by the minute.

[Caroline]

Unable to bond?  Ha!  It seems to me that they bonded only too well.  And Jeremy was there when all of this was going on?  Who looked after him?

This is getting more disturbing by the minute.

Jeremy was younger than Sheila, he wasn't born.

[Eleanor]

Jeremy was younger than Sheila, he wasn't born.

So they sent him to a mentally disturbed woman who couldn't look after her first adopted child?  Good God, this is awful.

[Holly Goodhead]

So they sent him to a mentally disturbed woman who couldn't look after her first adopted child?  Good God, this is awful.

I agree. 

Even if one believes JB responsible you would think they might consider his environment had some part to play in it.

[Caroline]

I agree. 

Even if one believes JB responsible you would think they might consider his environment had some part to play in it.

I do, and have said so. I believe being told he was adopted about the same time he was sent of to boarding school is at the heart of his personality disorder. Doesn't that make him less guilty though. Lots of people live with the consequences of childhood - they don't murder 5 people in later lifer though.

[APRIL]

I agree. 

Even if one believes JB responsible you would think they might consider his environment had some part to play in it.

Certainly. I think a combination of being told he was adopted and within weeks of it being sent to boarding school could have left him feeling that he was dirty secret which needed to be kept hidden. It may explain his track record of lavishing money on things to impress others and hoping to buy popularity?

[mrswah]

I think if you look through literature on the subject the references have changed from natural to biological to birth.

Thanks Holly !

[Holly Goodhead]

I do, and have said so. I believe being told he was adopted about the same time he was sent of to boarding school is at the heart of his personality disorder. Doesn't that make him less guilty though. Lots of people live with the consequences of childhood - they don't murder 5 people in later lifer though.

I don't know of any personality disorder brought about by an adoptee told he/she was adopted and then packed off to boarding school.  SC went through the same experience.

Kate Adie, from your neck of the woods, was also adopted and told as much just before being packed off to boarding school.

[APRIL]

I don't know of any personality disorder brought about by an adoptee told he/she was adopted and then packed off to boarding school.  SC went through the same experience.

Kate Adie, from your neck of the woods, was also adopted and told as much just before being packed off to boarding school.

I don't know if Kate Adie struggled -and failed- to live up to her adopted parents' expectations. She may not have seen boarding school as a punishment.

[mrswah]

I do, and have said so. I believe being told he was adopted about the same time he was sent of to boarding school is at the heart of his personality disorder. Doesn't that make him less guilty though. Lots of people live with the consequences of childhood - they don't murder 5 people in later lifer though.

I agree.  He had a choice, and he made the wrong one---that is, IF he is guilty.

Unlike Sheila. If she committed the murders, it was, IMO, a result of not being in control, owing to her illness.

[Holly Goodhead]

My mum wasn't adopted per se, but she was brought up by her grandparents, only finding out that the person she thought was her oldest sister, was actually her birth mother. She had a good childhood but has always felt rejected since finding out aged about 7 years old from another sister (actually her aunt) after a disagreement. It's affected my mum all of her life because it was never openly discussed and I think she always felt like she was a dirty secret. They all probably thought they were doing the best for everyone, but, her real mum (my gran) went on to have other children and my mum missed out on getting to know them and they had no idea about my mum until recently. One  big mess really that had ramifications for everyone.

But this is different compared with growing up in an environment without any kinship.