Depression is usually already present. It takes something to become really depressed it takes time, and it just creeps up on you.
I know.
I wonder if the depression was already present it wouldnt surprise me having to care for 3 young children under 3 its hard work, and perhaps a bit of post natal depression on top.
Anyone who has lost their child is going to feel depressed even suicidal at times who wouldnt its a normal reaction.
BUT you need to see a QUALIFIED counsellor in order to deal with it effectively.
True Depression.
Me too, I have been there. I am also a qualified Counsellor
and I lost my child. So I have personal experience of all three things you mention.
True depression, and I am not talking about "the blues", is normally caused by NOT one problem, but by a multitude of problems. It is injustice and ongoing unjustified criticism that is often the final straw that brings true depression about.
When my son died, I temporarily lost parts of my memory and generally functioned very badly. Strangely I did not cry, strangely I changed my sleeping position drastically .... and felt dreadful, but I wasn't depressed in the true sense. I have been trully depressed since, due to completely different multiple problems
Despite some mistakes on my behalf, when my boy died
everyone supported me and my hubby. I never felt suicidal, I never felt as tho the whole world was against me; I never felt as tho there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I knew that my son, a wonderful part of me had gone ... and would never return ... and I was sad for me and mine, but most especially for my son, who would never grow up and enjoy the wonders of the World.
I would add that I was glad that my son was out of all his pain, which was horrendous. He died like some child you see on "Save the Children" advertisements. Emaciated with that look in his eyes and the little hand stretched out ... but Thank God, no flies and at home in his own bed with loved ones around him.
Now Kate
- Kate had the shock of finding Madeleine missing ....gone
- The realisation that Madeleine was taken, quite probably for unsavoury and painful abuse
- The slowly dawning realisation that the Police Force that she had trusted were NOT looking for Madeleine
Frightening and soul destroying- The shock of being made an Arguido - a suspect
Awww- The shock of being given a kind of Ultimatum: confess to a crime she hadn't done and spend 2 years in jail ... or spend a long period in jail. For something she knew that she had NOT done !
A terrible Injustice ... and not only jail, but the fact that she would be seperated from the family she loves .... and the twins / people in general, would always wonder if she had killed their sister. What a HUGE INJUSTICE had she been jailed.- The shock of finding out that a, whipped up, vocal group of people were creating myths about her and Gerry. Terrible myths, that amounted to lies, designed to destruct them and their remaining family, untrue tho they were, ... but believed by some. Terrible myths, spread virally, and destroying their very characters
Character decimation, undermining them ... so painful .... such injustice- These myths were magnified with videos etc and put out as
video propaganda. There for eternity. Another huge injustice- The shock of finding that an Investigation group they employed were led by a criminal, who had taken money with little in return. Also valuable early search time gone
Hope destroyed.- The shock and upset of having their home targetted. Gerrys job targetted. Being watched all the time with constant criticism of their every move. Even their charity work undermined and criticized !!
Constant negative criticism, so soul destroying- The shock of having their efforts to find Madeleine destroyed by ignorant ridicule, by Red Herrings, by nasty evil people tearing down posters ... and destroying their carefully planned search efforts and wasting the funds money.
Everything they did destroyed. . Hope reduced to nothing by thoughtless and sometimes downright cruel ignoramouses -
The FINAL STRAW ... The shock of having a book written about her and Gerry implicating them in Madeleines disappearance. A book that would stand in black and white for eternity ... for their children to read .... to perhaps destroy their trust in Mum and Dad .... to maybe cause mental illnesses later. ................... And written by the lead Detective, Goncalo Amaral, so it had the ring of authenticity ... to make money. Another vast on-going Injustice. So worryingLoads more. All this negativity on top of bereavement, character assassination, undermining, propaganda, injustices, people putting the boot in, hope diminishing, etc etc.
Quite probably, like me, Kate would have recovered from her depression, without suicidal thoughts, had it not been for all the negative things mentioned above.... but Amarals book would have been the major upset.
No matter that he had no forensic or other evidence, it had the ring of authority being written by the lead detective ... and it was there for perpetuity
That permanent smear, Amarals book, should have been called THE FINAL STRAW imo
